I can’t face myself in the mirror anymore, bloodshot eyes from too much coffee, and the twitch, the nervous tic – it’s too much – it scares me almost as much as sleep, as you…. I haven’t slept in days, well, I have tried not to, even though my body is screaming out for rest and relief, I dare not go there. I fall anyway, fitfully dozing, into the waiting nightmare and come to with a start mere moments later – for you are always there waiting for me, remorseless, relentless, implacable hunting me down, chasing me ceaselessly away from the light, away from reality, your mantra always ringing in my ears “I am the creature who smells your darkest thoughts”. Is there no help for me?
“We’ve got you now.” I hear a voice say far away. ”Nurse, start him on Olanzapine 2.5 milligram’s…”
© Andrew Wilson, 2026
Over at dVerse Poets Pub, merrildsmith in Prosery invites us to write Of Jaguars and the Night, prose—fiction or nonfiction— up to 144 words, not including the title and incorporating a line from “Jaguar Song” by Artur Sze.
Andrew, I think yours is related to Jay’s. That poor man. I hope he’s OK.
I’m still wondering if it’s mental illness or a horror/sci-fi situation.
Mental illness in my case, Merril, I see what you mean about Jay’s. Psychosis is such an insidious thing and not always recognised by people around the victim…
The anguish of the human psych can be relentless. Sleep deprivation can cause the mind to wander to unknown places. May good dreams find a way to break the darkness that surrounds him.
Indeed! Thanks for that Truedessa…
This is chilling… whenever inside your own darkness coming out into the light might be even worse… may it not be so
Shame is invariably worse than the reality were it to come out, Björn…
Andrew, I hope this is pure fiction. “Comfortably Numb” came to mind. There are worse things than being comfortably numb.
Comfortably numb – a favourite song, Li, I was involved behind the scenes in a small way and got to watch the first performance of The Wall…
Psychosis and trouble with mental illness are very terrifying. Hopefully it has gotten better by now and the medication does it’s work.
Take care, loved the prose.
Andrew, a chilling and most realistic portrayal of a psychotic break … which one terrifying time many years ago, I witnessed. Well done, perfect way to use the line … perfect.
Thanks, Helen, I saw someone from the South Asian community who was having a psychotic episode. Mental illness is really not talked about in that community and shotly afterwards, she took her own life. It left a mark on me even though I was very peripheral to it. It seems obvious afterwards, but we simply don’t recognise some irrationality for what it really is…
reading your prose i immediately thought of our vets who suffer greatly from the wars… back in the 60s they were drafted…. daily we lose them to suicide…. it is a nightmare some cannot conquer… there’s always a crack somewhere that let’s in the darkness…. even though there are many programs to assist without the ‘here take these pills’ antidote we still lose them… one can only hope for a future w/o the harm of war…
We had a Purser at school who suffered from what was then called shell-shock thoough I’m not sure if that was First or Second World War. I think the Vietnam War was worse in many ways and for many more participants. Thanks for reading miss pie…
The blurring of realities, be it psychosis or other mental issue, be it drug related, I have worked someone who needed medication to get through whatever they saw or heard. This rings so true.