You write a novel lickety-split
the words pour out upon the page
the word count rising like a fountain
scenes fill chapters – chapters parts
That’s when the fun starts
What you have is just a first draft
send it to an agent, they would just laugh
assuming you even made it off the slush pile
rejection letters bring you down for a while
but you must pick yourself up
dust off your writing tool of choice
and launch your second, third and even fourth draft
polishing your bon mots, refine your voice,
flesh out your characters, channel your craft
That’s when the fun starts
Recruit a critique buddy
bully your friends and family into reading
confess to your partner you fear it needs a professional
count your pennies into tottering piles
it’s unlikely they will reach an editor ceiling
What the Dickens! Release your Kraken in blog-size bites
fret not at savage comments
don’t get into fights
enough opinions to make your head spin
That’s when the fun begins
At last your manuscript is done
but you must face one last and monumental question
to publish yourself or on great houses wait
or look for small and independent publishers
but are you sufficiently niche, do you fit a genre
and if you forge heroically through this labyrinth
That’s where the fun starts
Editors and graphic artists are but a few
wait till the sensitivity readers
get their hooks in you
blurbs written by the great and good
all these hurdles you should reckon
to jump and clear if write you would
and getting published…
That’s when the fun starts
Interviews and promotional tours
signing your book so much it bores
and after many hotels bland
your royalties pay for holiday sands
but just as you lie back sipping a drink
your editor ringtone and phone start to blink
No rest for the weary – up and at ‘em dearie
Success means your public seek for seconds
strike while the iron is hot she reckons
You face a blank screen…
That’s when the fun starts
© Andrew Wilson, 2024
Over at dVerse Poets Pub, Grace in OpenLinkNight invtes us to submit a poem of our choice! This poem, tongue in cheek, is not from personal experience but pure wishful thinking, and were it to come true, it would be, as somebody once said “A lovely problem to have…”
That would be dream. But in today’s scenario that can be done now. Let the fun begin.
Thanks Grace, if you mean self-publishing, then I am not convinced it isn’t another rabbit hole down which a writer might fall and spend a great deal of time in the process. Did you ever read Foucault’s Pendulum? It has a brilliant exposition chapter of vanity publishing and how publishers milk authors, and I am not sure that a great deal has changed just gone digital…
You’ve described it accurately.
Thanks, Atrmater, I wonder if you have had this experience?
No successful attempts. There are several types of tactics in play in selling Indie books. The small traditional publisher is more likely to accept a new author.
If you have a true following, you might go with self-publishing. I’ve bought Indie books. There are at least two types of authors. Those who ignore their fans because of various suspicions. Then the other lot who support their book reviews, prompt participants, fan art contributors, mutual blog promotions etc. This is what I mean – https://artmater.com/reviewing-sunflower-tanka-poetry-from-franci-hoffman-eugi-from-moonwashed-weekly-prompt/ and
https://artmater.com/reviewing-sunflower-tanka-poetry-anthology-links-to-all-reviews/
I bought an indie writer’s book and know this story. He got persuaded by a sort of vanity publisher/ film producer. He blogged about selling his house to self-fund a film adaptation of his novel. I stopped following his blog.
I’ll return here to read your reply.
Hi Cai, I realised that I don’t know really who you are – I looked in vain for an About page on your blog! I see there is some overlap in people we know – the book you reviewed – Sunflower Tanka, is by Robbie Cheadle and Colleen Chesebro both of whom I know from the dVerse Poets Pub. I have written one completed novel – a speculative Utopian thriller and I have been writing (in a very on/off way for 20 years) a more “literary” novel about post-colonial troubles in which the abuses of colonialism are treated in much the same way as familial abuse – which sounds a lot more academic than it is – a good story, I hope. So I have toyed with the idea of dipping my toe into the publishing thing with the completed novel, but the poem, Giving Birth was a 25 minute job from my writing group and was written in the shadow of “Any Fool Can Get Into the Ocean” by Jack Spicer https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/51258/any-fool-can-get-into-an-ocean- It just flowed out and needed no editing – the line “That’s where the fun starts” is from the poem… It is how I imagine trying to get published to be, and at almost 71, I am not sure whether I have the energy to embark on it or not – still, in the words of the song “I can dream, can’t I?”
You can try the traditional publisher. Even if your mss gets accepted, it is required to do editing and other preparation for 2 years before publishing. I guess the average senior can sit and do editing.
Try UK publishers before other foreign ones. You have their preference and priority.
Have a look at https://bathnovelaward.co.uk/
They pick newcomers. I followed one author who made their debut with them and has been publishing ever since.
If one door doesn’t open, try another. If there aren’t any more doors to try, open a window into self-publishing.
If only, Andrew!
Indeed, Kim! At 70, I don’t have much time to make this dream come true, lol…
Andrew, I love this! How you build it stanza by stanza and such a great flow the verse has. Bravo! I enjoyed reading it immensely.
Thanks, Punam! If I can’t have a novel published, at least I can write a poem about it…
Love this, Andrew! 😂 So funny – and accurate! This bit especially made me chuckle:
“wait till the sensitivity readers
get their hooks in you”
This was a 25 minute job from my writing group andwas written in the shadow of “Any Fool Can Get Into the Ocean” by Jack Spicer https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/51258/any-fool-can-get-into-an-ocean-
It just flowed out and needed no editing – the line “That’s where the fun starts” is from the poem…
This us unforgettable / step by step / each painfully / honest / humorous step. You can be damned certain I am never going to write a BOOK, except for the one I DID write ~ based on the five year journal I kept during the last years of my Mother’s life. No higher-ups to please, making impossible demands, running my life. The only higher-ups I had to please ~ my FAMILY!! Received rave reviews I might add for “My Journey With Mother”. A most entertaining saga, Andrew.
I am sure if you did write a book, it would be a best seller, Helen – you have more than a few tales to tell, I’ll bet my bottom dollar – just be sure to include the “The following is not based on any real characters” disclaimer lol…
It is a lot of work, and many places to fall… and maybe in the end success is not so fun after all.
Beware of what you wish for lol…
What great fun and fantasy! The writer’s treadmill. I love the word count rising like a fountain and the pennies that don’t reach the editor’s ceiling. I’ve been at some of those places but not the beach on royalties part.
Thanks Collen, it was a fantasy indeed since I have never gone down this route[s] but I look into it from time to time – the rest is imagination or as you say – fantasy…