An open letter to my MP

Dear Mr Moore


It is with ambivalence that I write to you and with which, I imagine you will receive this letter since you are one of the MP’s who replaced – in our case, a very good and well-liked MP – on the strength of a facile slogan “Let’s Get Brexit done!”. Whether that was one of Boris Johnson’s own efforts or the handiwork of Dominic Cummings is a moot point but you undoubtedly owe your seat – in part – to the behind the scene machinations of Cummings – BUT – and here is my point, you may well lose it due to the catastrophic misjudgement of Dominic Cummings and his “boss”, the Prime Minister, if not now, then in the long run.

The Tory handling of the Coronavirus has been woeful, if understandable in their terms – the economic consequences of the crisis are inconceivable and immeasurable at present (though they will emerge in retrospect ) but it now appears that the delay of a week to eleven days at the outset whilst considering “herd-immunity” (a Cummings idea?), has cost many thousands of lives. If this was in any way a reflection of the work of the Prime Minister’s Chief Advisor, it was not well done, but we are unlikely to know that. What we DO know, is that Cummings – supposedly the great reader and manipulator of British public opinion – has got this one very badly wrong. Either he thinks the public stupid (but they are not, and with all the time in lockdown, are well supplied with the facts and incentivised to understand the facts) or Cummings is arrogant and dismissive – or both.

Cummings is a self-professed Disruptor and this was his modus operandi over Brexit – disrupt the status quo by taking us out of Europe and I don’t know whether he even cares if the beneficiaries are neoliberal profiteers – I feel the disruption is an end in itself for Cummings. He says a great deal about what he doesn’t like but very little about what he does like which suggests that whilst he at least knows how to disrupt efficiently – it gives me no faith that he has anything constructive  to offer the Prime Minister, your party and the country in terms of fixing the economy .

When an advisor acts so inadvisably, surely he must go! Perhaps he “has something on Boris Johnson” which accounts for the seeming hold over him and I am sure that he is telling Boris to hold his nerve and all this will go away, but I ask you to keep the pressure upon the Prime Minister, to remove Cummings forthwith because, apart from anything else, the public will not forget this element of the crisis when and as the full analysis of it takes place. Your party has a large majority with a full term but…

Kind Regards
Andrew Wilson

A Fork in the Road…


Three fictional responses to the best and worst possibilities that could grow out of present times…

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Robert Frost


Devolution 1

Gemma – Transformation

I can hardly believe how life has changed since the Covid 19 crisis. And for the better too. Life used to be a merry-go-round of work, kids, husband, sleep, and then work again. Yes, the kids are back at school again – there’s still the husband – lol, and I do work, but it’s different work now. I’m working for myself now. I used to work in a factory, making rubber gloves and my task was to pack the ruddy things into boxes – all day long – mind-numbingly boring! It was a small firm and when the virus struck and the need for personal protection skyrocketed, the boss thought that we’ld be quids in. He wrote to the government offering gloves at a very good price but we heard nothing back and meantime, most of us were on zero-hours contracts and he couldn’t claim the money the government was offering – he had to let us all go. I saw him the other day – coming out of the Social Security Office after claiming for Universal Credit like the rest of us used to – the crisis wiped him out – bankrupt. He said he heard that the PPE contracts all went to some big firm – he said it came out in the paper that some Tory minister had connections with the company… I never trusted the Tories as far as I could throw them – a lot of people I knew went over to them with Brexit, their heads full of nonsense about immigrants and getting our country back, but as far as I can see, the only people who ever stole our country from us, was the sodding Tory government.Anyway, back to lockdown – I went on universal credit and of course, it wasn’t going to come through for weeks, in fact, it took two months – thank God for Mike, my husband and a delivery man, and YES! – his company actually was quids in with the crisis! He worked all through the lockdown flat out and miraculously, managed not to catch the virus. I love Mike to bits but I was so relieved we didn’t have to be locked down 24 hours a day – him, me and the kids – we wouldn’t have made it. Don’t get me wrong, Mike is a lovely man, but he can’t keep still for five minutes so out on the road was the best place for him whilst I did my best with the kids – home-schooling, painting rainbows to thank the NHS, making up quizzes – I didn’t know I had it in me. Course, there were loads of tips on tinternet and that’s where I first saw about people making scrubs for the  NHS and Care Home workers – weeks before it was on TV news.
I had my mum’s sewing machine – she used to make clothes for me when I was little but when I was a teenager I had loads of arguments with her because I wanted shop-bought clothes – selfish little minx I was ‘cos she couldn’t afford them. Well, I started teaching myself to use the machine from YouTube videos and soon I downloaded patterns for how to make scrubs. You had to use the right kind of material so they were washable and you made a bag for the scrubs to go in so the workers could put the bag straight in the washing machine without touching the scrubs. It took a bit of practice but soon I got it right and the feeling when I had my first pair collected by the co-ordinator in my area – well! You had to pay to talk to me! Then my kids got interested, Lisa and Liam, they helped me by cutting out the pieces and washing the materials my friends and neighbours dropped off. They still had to do their home-schooling but they went at it with enthusiasm so they could get on to the scrubs. Also, they had a bit more respect for me since they seen what I had done – in the early days I was struggling with their schoolwork – I hadn’t been that hot at school meself but with a bit of patience on their part, we figured stuff out together, mostly. Once the crisis was over, they did their own washing and ironing lol! And I – I started making clothes for a living. While we was still in lockdown, Lisa and I got so fed up with not being able to go shopping for new clothes and we used to watch the Great British Sewing Bee where the contestants had to do a Transformation challenge so we decided – since we couldn’t get any nice fabrics – to take one of my old dresses and make one (a lot smaller) for Lisa. She was so thrilled with it, not just because she had a new outfit ‘cos she couldn’t go out in it (though she shared it on Instagram with all her friends) but because I had made it for her. Who’d have thought it! All that fuss I used to make with my Mum and Lisa went for it! Maybe ‘cos she was proud of what I had done with the scrubs – they weren’t just plain blue or green like regular ones because of the fabrics people gave us, they had patterns and even superheroes from children’s duvets. Then again, all her friends thought her dress was really cool too! I’d never done anything like this and I was so proud of myself and my kids, and how many scrubs we managed to make together! So after the crisis, Lisa and I went to a fabric shop once they opened again and though we started by buying and making a few patterns both for her and me, they were a bit naff and soon I started making up my own ideas. Lisa was using the sewing machine by now and together, we started making clothes for her friends. After a while, the local paper, well it was an online thing, did a feature on me and then a local shop asked if they could show one of my “creations”. Then a small firm asked if they could make one of my “designs” and soon I was making enough money that I came off Universal Credit – what a proud moment that was!

So the crisis did me a big favour, lucky enough, no-one in my family died though one uncle was touch and go, but me, I came out of it with a whole new life and according to the mayor, I have “done something to help the local economy” – result!

Revolution

Annie – 1 – Feral…

God knows we never imagined we’d end up hiding in the Scottish highlands, protected by guns, booby traps and subterfuge, and still the question we keep asking ourselves is – how did it come to this?

Was it that first eleven days when the government dithered around the idea of sacrificing unknowable numbers of people to, possibly, arrive at herd immunity? Of course, they knew at that stage that the elderly were affected more by Covid 19 and who knows whether, in the Cabinet meetings, they dared to whisper the idea that culling of the ever more expensive baby-boom generation would solve a lot of problems, reduce the pressure on the NHS costs, liberate inheritance money to the next, less fortunate generation. Of course, there was the unfortunate fact that these were the Tory party’s traditional power base voters, but heck, they had five years till the next election and maybe that next generation would be grateful and pick up the votes…

I am on Guard duty, as usual. Mr McPherson, Jock is tending to his animals with help around the farm from my husband Tom whilst Mrs McPherson, Maggie, is baking bread and making jam from the strawberries that grow well in the sheltered hollow where the farm is nestled. The hollow is completely hidden by a bend at the top of the long straight valley that leads up to it so that you would have no idea that there was a farm here when you look up from the main road below – except for the track leading up the valley. And that was a problem when we arrived with our unwelcome news, two months ago. Tom had been in the army reserves when he was younger so he and Jock worked out a plan to put off anyone tempted to investigate the farm track. We had passed a car whose occupants had been shot at close range where they sat and Tom and Jock loaded up onto Jock big trailer and brought it back to the farm. Carefully positioned in the entrance to the farm track, as if trying to leave, the car with its gruesome occupants, both blocked the track entrance and hopefully suggested that death had already passed this way and there was nothing to be had here. As long as the group who had murdered the car’s occupants didn’t return and recognize their handiwork – it might work, but then again…

I’m getting ahead of myself. The first two months of lockdown went better than expected in the UK, the hospitals were not overwhelmed by the rising numbers of patients and the people, by and large, accepted the restrictions imposed on them without complaint and clapped every week in appreciation of the bravery and dedication of first, NHS workers, then delivery drivers and anyone not locked down but continuing to work and support the rest of us who were. Then the problem of people living and working in the care sector became apparent. A bit of the shine went off the NHS when it was realized that the people sent back from hospitals to residential homes without testing, in the early days of the crisis when hospitals were being cleared for action, were probably the reason why the virus decimated those homes so quickly and completely. In turn, this reflected on the government for their failure to prepare for a pandemic and the more specific failures in this particular case as well as the suspicion that they just didn’t care enough about the residential homes’ occupants. Under increasing pressure from the press and the public, the government did what it always did, looked for distraction and scapegoats. 
People, perhaps orchestrated behind the scenes and in tabloid papers, were clamouring to go back to work and the government stoked it by unclear messages about the safety of doing so, sowing confusion so that no blame could attach to them, or rather nothing that would stick. Lots of people had lost their jobs, mainly in the lower end of the job market, the gig economy, the zero hour contract end of the market. There were a lot of unhappy people as what aid there was to be had from the government, came through slowly – food banks grew in importance. Those that did return to, or find new jobs, were forced to accept lower wages – companies claimed they couldn’t afford more after the lockdown and it was “take it or leave it”.
Of course, nobody in government would have dreamed of officially suggesting the affluent old as scapegoats, but the forces on the right have always pulled the strings in a sly way, whether it’s the Nazis, Moseley’s Blackshirts or the National Front – there’s always someone behind the scenes, whispering in the ears of yobs and disaffected youth. Of course, the concept of an age war had been around before the Covid 19 crisis, babyboomers living in comparative luxury and drawing down NHS services in increasing numbers, and as more things became treatable, demanding those treatments. The younger generation was facing the prospect of paying for this older generation on the “strength” of inadequate jobs, unable to get on the housing ladder, which Margaret Thatcher had sold to the nation as the inalienable right of British citizens. But these rumblings and grumblings might never have come to much without the Covid 19 crisis…

I squint down the telescopic sight on my automatic rifle and check that the farm track is clear right down to the road. There are grass and weeds growing up on it now, which is what we want – no indication that anyone travels up it or that there is anywhere to go to at the top of it. We travel a different route to the road now when we need to, and its usually only Jock and Tom who go, driving a four-wheel-drive buggy over the hills surrounding the farm, and down to the road further along from the now disused farm track, and being careful not to leave evidence of their passage. They make occasional, very discrete outings to check up on other local farms, farms not as lucky as the McGregor’s, lucky that we arrived when we did. The friends who were our first destination, were not so lucky. When the troubles threatened us at our home on the outskirts of Newcastle, we decided to visit Pat Tricia and Steve, some farmer friends near Aberdeen who agreed to our plan – safety in numbers and Tom’s military background was reassuring. We loaded our aged camper van with food and anything we thought might be useful, we locked down our house as best we could in the limited time we felt we had. Gangs were already raiding nearby suburbs on a random basis, the rumours were of scores being settled, particularly conspicuous consumption, flash cars, big houses – they were drawing the attention first. We didn’t expect that our friends’ place would be a target at all – remote as it was, but it turned out, the remote farms, far from being safe in their isolation, were easy pickings for the feral gangs, Killing the occupants if they were older and sometimes even if they were younger – the yobs failed to distinguish between landowners and tenant farmers. They robbed whatever valuables they could find, often torched the property, took the odd sheep for celebratory barbeques back in the cities. 
When we arrived at the farm, we could see immediately that there was something wrong – there were a lot of cars parked in the farmyard although we couldn’t see anyone about. Tom parked off the approach track, behind a group of trees. He instructed me to watch the farm from cover, with binoculars and keep in touch with him using our mobile phones on earphone for silent operation. He crept up to the farm along a hedge line. As he made it to the corner of the house, I saw a man with a gun come out of the front door, lean the gun next to the door and wall over to some bushes and start to urinate. Thanks to my silent warning, Tom had flattened himself to the wall and the intruder, wiping some blood on his trousers as he went, passed almost within touching distance of Tom, his Bowie knife already drawn. The intruder didn’t have time to react as Tom cut his throat and fell silently to the ground and Tom dragged his body out of sight. Tom quickly secured the gun – an automatic rifle he told me when he had moved to the cover of a wall on the opposite side of the yard – a position which gave him command of the whole yard. I knew Tom had been on lots of training exercises, but he had never been deployed in an active combat situation – to see him kill a man in cold blood with such decisive efficiency, shocked me to the core. Now he waited until someone else came outside calling a man’s name. A couple of others drifted out, laughing and swigging from a bottle of brandy and joined in the shouting of the missing man’s name. Suddenly Tom started shooting from his concealed position, sweeping the yard with a long burst of automatic fire that dropped all the men to the ground. One other man emerged gun in hand but by the time he had realized all his companions were on the ground, a short burst from Tom despatched him too. He told me he was going around the back of the house to check whether there were any more invaders inside and to keep watch. It was as if I had not known this Tom and yet I realized I that I had always known him – just expressed in different ways – how he packed for a journey, knew where to find things. I felt safe with him – as I always had, but more so. Ten minutes later Tom appeared at the front door and shouted and beckoned to me to come to him. I ran down and into the house and found Tom bent over Patricia on the floor, bleeding. Steve was face down on the other side of the room, not moving.
” You’ll have to go to Jock and Maggie now – warn them, they’re good friends” Patricia was saying weakly “you’ll find their number in my phone, you’ll be safe there -they’re way up in the highlands.” She winced and her eyes screwed shut. “Thank you Pat” I said, “typical you thinking of others first but we will get you to a hospital!” But it was too late, Pat’s body gave a little spasm and she was gone. I turned to Tom and burst into tears, so much had happened, had changed in the last twenty minutes. He held me tight for as long as I needed but then as soon as I let him go, he said, “We must do what she said Maggie – it’s obviously not safe even here – we need to move as soon as possible.” And so it was that we buried Pat and Steve together, left the intruders where they were as some sort of warning, gathered all their weapons and the stash of ammunition from their vehicles, plus Steve’s shotguns “God knows where they got the automatic weapons!” Tom said. We packed them along with more food, into the camper van and left a couple of hours later just as it was getting dark. We had found Jock and Maggie’s number in Pat’s phone, she hadn’t bothered with locking and passwords, and we rang and told them what had happened. I heard Maggie gasp but they said to come on up and gave us their address. We pulled into some forestry off the road and slept in the front seats for a few hours, the back was too full and resumed the journey in the early hours of the morning when we thought we would be less likely to encounter trouble…

As soon as reports of violence against older, richer people began, the government deployed the army and whilst the sight of a few patrols calmed things down in the trouble spots, mostly in deprived northern cities, it soon became apparent that most of the army had moved south and were deployed to protect what used to be called “the Home Counties”. Soon the press reported that the government had lost control of the northern half of the country and formed a protective cordon south of Birmingham and that’s when law and order really broke down – riots, retaliation from the police, all-out attacks on police stations and of course, looting. Once the shops were looted, picked clean, then the mobs turned their attention to individual houses and that’s when Tom and I had decided to leave. Pat and Steve had been longtime friends who we went to stay with most years – being farmers it was harder for them to do the opposite. Jock and Maggie were like them in some ways, not dourer but a bit more reserved. They were shocked by our tale when we arrived but practical, Tom clearly knew how to defend us and he and Jock quickly went off to hatch a defensive strategy and Maggie and I unpacked the food from the van and bonded over the act of stowing it in her pantry and cups of strong tea.
The television was still going then, still showing a semblance of the news, but it was clear that either less was known about what was going on “up north”, or that the government was censoring the news. As the days went on, the untroubled south became less and less real or relevant to us though there was coverage of what was happening in other parts of the world. More right-wing governed countries like Poland and Hungary had suffered worse from the virus, not locking down soon enough, their hospitals overwhelmed and there too violence flared and soon there were no more reports coming out of those countries either. We had the internet for a bit but only by going up onto the hill and connecting Tom’s laptop via his mobile phone – Jock and Maggie were had not bothered with the internet before – but soon the phone network went down just as the landline had done a few weeks before. We cannot contact our children any more though Tom and mine at least know where we are, the authorities do not know about us or our fate. We are completely on our own now.

It’s getting too dark to see now and in the unlikely event that anyone comes past the dead people at the bottom of the track and makes it up to the farm, there are booby traps on tripwires. They are meant to be blank shotgun cartridges to scare foxes and maybe poachers, but we have loaded them with live cartridges – we need the upper hand in the event of an attack. I extricate myself from my hide and walk round the bend to the farmhouse where the lights are on and supper will be ready for us all.

Tom and I used to talk, in the early days of the lockdown, about how the pandemic had not turned out like in the movies and tv dramas – lots of dead bodies everywhere and the survivors going feral in the ruins of civilisation – little did we know. Back then, it all seemed very unreal, the government and the media quickly adopted the language of war, – fighting the virus, the workers on the front-line and so on, but that’s not how it felt, you looked out of the window and the streets were calm and empty and the TV and web were full of diversions to occupy adults and children alike and re-runs of old comedies. It all changed and went downhill so quickly so still we ask ourselves – how did it come to this…

Devolution 2

Annie – 2 – Reformation

We had always been Tory voters and everyone around us in our posh suburb of Newcastle voted that way too, as far as we could tell. When lockdown happened, we were comfortable enough in our detached house with a big enough garden to walk around in and work on but we started to feel cut off by the high fences and hedge that separated us from the neighbours. We could hear them but not see them and if we wanted to talk to them, we had to shout an invitation and then meet them on the pavement out front – socially distanced of course. Thursday night clapping for the NHS seemed a feeble affair when we were all so far apart – not like the enthusiastic affairs pictured on the news from terrace streets in inner cities.
We did our social duty, of course, surveyed the area to see if there were any older people who needed shopping doing for them, but either they had children nearby or insisted on driving to the shops themselves – masked and gloved. There are no corner shops in the suburbs so it was always a trip to the supermarket and the chances of running into people we knew in the queue to get in, was slim. Our only contact with the outside world then, was via the internet and the telephone. It was lonely.
Newcastle, whilst socially and architecturally vibrant, was still impoverished or rather socially divided into well-off and deprived, affluent suburbs and older inner-city terraces. Years of austerity had whittled away at the local authority provided services, drug and alcohol services, school facilities, hospitals – for people like us, with BUPA and no vices, this was not a problem although the prospect of having to go into an NHS hospital in the event of catching the virus, added to our determination to avoid catching it.  not that we were snobs, but just afraid of being treated in an overwhelmed or failing facility. But for most of the population there would be no choice. London succumbed to the virus first and then spread unevenly, thriving in hotspots which it appeared, were related to areas of deprivation – including Newcastle. Scientists speculated as to causal links, shifted their thinking from a flu-like disease to a multi-organ attacking complaint, from one strategy to another. And the numbers of infections and deaths in Newcastle, rose steadily.
The press started asking more searching questions. What was the government’s exit strategy? When would lockdown end? Did the government accept any blame for the slow start to lockdown, the return of infected elderly patients to care homes and so on? And gradually, Tom and I started to question the government’s record too. I should say that Tom was a retired barrister but who was a member of the Army Reserve and I had used to spend many weekends on my own whilst he went off on training weekends. So Tom was used to both incisive, analytic thinking, and also, to decisive action plans. He moved from default Tory voter to “They couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery!” in about six weeks.
We both watched the daily briefings from the government but Tom started to read far and wide on the internet – seeking answers to the mysteries of the virus which seemed to deepen rather than achieve resolution and to the evaluation of different governments performance in tackling the pandemic. 
My research was rather more prosaic, mostly centred on Facebook and Tom had to disabuse me of a few conspiracy theories and other examples of fake news but Tom had to concede that the articles which were shared showing that countries with women premiers had acted faster and better and got better results – certainly than our own government’s performance. And so between us, our knowledge grew and our views changed.
Furthermore, as time went on, we both grew more and more frustrated at not being able to contribute anything to “the war” on the virus – language you would imagine Tom, as a part-time soldier, would have embraced, but no! He read an article showing how such language is not helpful except for whipping people up with speeches. By the time lockdown ended, Tom and I had sustained a Damascene conversion, we were anti-austerity, anti-centralised government, pro-local sourcing, pro-devolution. When the lockdown ended, in a muddled way that we suspected was designed to prevent blame attaching to the government, Tom and I joined our local branch of the Labour Party but after attending a few meetings, we were disillusioned with them too and turned to local government and Tom decided to try and stand in the next council election. I supported him, acting as his promoter and social secretary until he said that we should both try and stand. 
But then came the second wave of Covid 19 – a much worse one than the first wave – deaths soared – lockdown resumed and all of the government’s dissembling and attempted blame-shifting fell flat – people saw through it! The regions had become increasingly bolshie about the strictures being handed out by central government, they took their own line, tried to obtain information about their own regions in order to base their decisions on. More importantly, they talked to their neighbours, co-operated, shared resources, sourced local solutions. This rebellion against the government was not lost on the government and their five-year, massive majority started to implode. The opposition party eventually called for a vote of no confidence and incredibly, enough Tory MP’s rebelled and the government fell in only the second year of its term. For the first time ever, the recent local elections had attracted a larger turnout than the national election which resulted in a hung parliament which dragged on in useless stalemate and decreasing their role even more. That scuppered the no-deal Brexit that the Tories had plainly been headed for and with all the other problems faced by ourselves and our European neighbours, the whole thing just seems to have slid into inactivity and things between us are changed more by Covid 19 than Brexit.
Tom and I failed to get selected by local Labour Party – still too middle-class looking, but we did become activists working with the councillors who were elected, and in many ways, this proved better for us because we were free to work, liaise and support whatever causes and issues we wanted to – keeping homeless down, encouraging synergy between local businesses. People made unemployed by the lockdown have found new and innovative ways to make a living – we watched a piece about a woman who taught herself to sew scrubs for key-workers during the lockdown and now designs clothes that are made by a local firm and sold in local shops. No transport costs, no foreign sweat-shops or possible child-labour. Farmers markets have returned bigger and better, not just for the middle-class but for everyone. Okay, the vegetables are more seasonal but people are more experimental with their cooking – not in terms of exotic foreign ingredients but home-grown things. It’s not just necessity now, it’s an informed choice by consumers – old-style, growth-based capitalism seems to have died…fingers crossed. Yes we miss travel, foreign holidays, but you can’t argue with the figures on reduced pollution – same with commuting, much reduced as people now insist on working from home and those who have to physically go to work, are gradually moving to be nearer rather than do the big commute – and who ever enjoyed that – really!
From sleepy semi-retirement, we were drawn into a new and active life. We have new friends and we have purpose and meaning. We act as sentinels against the excesses of central government and campaign to keep local government strong – we won’t look back…

Reflections on A to Z 2020 Challenge



Being a newbie to the Challenge, I had not realized that a reflection post was de rigeur but better late than never! I only discovered the Challenge on April 1st and so I had also missed the theme launch which meant I had no option but to be a “pantser” and being full of thoughts on the lockdown, that became my theme – personal and societal responses (including my resumption of blogging). 

Having such a broad canvas meant I could also adopt a wide variety of styles, op-ed, poetry, fiction, and photography. I do think that once a few people found me, this varied nature might have helped to keep readers coming back. To begin with there were hardly any pageviews until I made a couple of reviews of other blogs – after all, I had no extant readers after a gap from 2013 but numbers started to climb after Fréderiqué gave me some good advice on promotion and offered solid support throughout the Challenge!

So by the end of the month, the pageviews had reached around 1000 and a couple of posts reached the dizzying number of 45 pageviews each! However, this is not the best way to measure success as a blogger and instead, what has pleased me much more, is that a I feel I have made a couple of solid friends who will continue to visit and vice versa.

What did I enjoy writing most (since I have already spoken about the blogs I have enjoyed reading) – well I did a lot of research for M – Money and N – neo Liberalism and I enjoyed boiling down complex issues to bite-sized pieces which I hope were digestible – there are some very complex issues facing the world at present. At the other end of the scale, I wrote the L – Love poem very quickly, using song titles to start and theme each verse and I think I succeeded in making something touching, funny and thought-provoking – not necessarily in that order…

Will I do it again next year? If the fates and Covid 19 allow both in health and time, I would love to join this special club again. As to whether I would pre-prepare posts, I don’t know – it takes some of the pressure off and allows reflection and editing time but there is great stimulation in “pantsing” and the opportunity to react to current events too. Hopefully, we shall not be living in quite such dramatic times by then – but I wouldn’t count on it…

VE Day – Reflections on my Mother’s War…


Born in 1920, my mother was 19 when she joined the army for World War 2. Yet she had already had two phases in her life, growing up as one of six with a gamekeeper father who was bitter about lost opportunities following the First World War. His brother had emigrated to America before the war but couldn’t take my grandfather with him because he was under 16 and the family was put out at losing one potential bread-winner, let alone two. The brother said my Grandfather should enlist and that he would send money so that my Grandfather could join him after the war – which he did send the money, but the family spent it and my Grandfather had to become a gamekeeper instead of a teacher – his first choice, since with so many men killed and women having to support their parents, teaching became reserved for young women. This made my Grandfather bitter and he wouldn’t allow his children to do homework and advance themselves – instead, saying that they would go into domestic service at 14 – and that is what happened. It is sad that whatever social mobility and reduction in entitlement was brought about by WW 1, passed my Grandfather by in his disillusionment. Meanwhile, his brother in America put his upbringing on a farm to a different use, becoming a teacher at an agricultural college and marrying a Southern belle and setting his family on an upwardly mobile trajectory.

So before the Second World War, my mother had had five years of domestic service, first as a maid and then after being taken at 16, to Morocco (or maybe Tunisia, she wasn’t sure) to assist in looking after a baby during a family holiday, she became a children’s nanny. My Mother had many stories about her time in domestic service but they are not for “the day that’s in it” VE Day – suffice to say that domestic service was hard to leave and the war offered the one way which could not be frowned upon and so she joined up.

My mother quite quickly rose to be a Sergeant in the signaling corps, which for women, meant manning telephone switchboards and after working at a number of bases, she went to live and work on the island of Portland near Weymouth, where, in vast underground bunkers, the invasion was being planned. Living on Portland was as near to the front line as most women got, the island was a target for bombers and even fighters, given its strategic role and its nearness to German-occupied France. My mother told tales of having to grab her landladies children and dive for cover when a German fighter strafed the back gardens of their street and how a German bomber crashed in the High Street. The last time I took my mother to Weymouth before she died, on a beautiful sunny day with the beach thronged with holidaymakers, she pointed out a hotel where a German bomber, fleeing home after unsuccessfully reaching its mission target, loosed its bombs killing an entire wedding party that had just arrived at the station for the wedding feast. I grew up seeing my mother in tears on Remembrance Sunday, thinking of the six men, any one of whom she might have married, as well as all the others who never returned from other front lines, yet the poignancy of all that loss, and the realization of just how recent the war was, only a few years before I was born, was never stronger for me than on that sunny day in Weymouth.

There were other stories from my mother’s war, the bullying Sergeants that she took on, the girls she had to protect from untoward attention, and the spy that she prevented from stealing secrets and who was caught and shot a few weeks later. Latterly, my mother decided not to repeat these stories about the war anymore. In the run-up to VE Day, I have heard other veterans say the opposite, they had never talked about it until recently but now felt that “it doesn’t matter anymore” and so have told their tales. Everybody had their own way of dealing with their memories in the aftermath of this traumatic but highly stimulating time. I often thought that our generation, the baby-boomers, had nothing remotely to compare with the traumas of that war – until now, when once again, literally the whole world has been turned upside down. Yet still, it is nothing like WW 2, unless you are on the front-line in a hospital, for most of us, this momentous time is about “staying at home”. 

It would be immoral to envy my parent’s generation for their experience of the war and yet the choices were clear for them, to literally fight a great evil – the warlike references to fighting the Covid 19 virus are a mere shadow of such events – yet the choices we face are far more complex – too complex for many people, including many of the politicians who are supposed to steer our ships. Many people just want it all to be over and things to get back to the “old” normal. I hope, in a positive way, that there is no return to rampant consumerism, unchecked, unconsidered planet-destroying growth. I hope it is the death of capitalism as we have known it – and I am very afraid that there is the possibility of the opposite happening – of those on the right using the crisis to entrench their power and mismanagement ever more firmly. So let us today, remember the sacrifices made in that other war, and the joy of it’s ending but let us not forget the long road to recovery that followed, not always fairly, and not shy away from the difficult choices that face us in our testing times.

The Rational and the Belief of a Spiritual Humanist…

Terms

Humanist

Despite the fact that the word Humanism is applied to many different movements such as Christian Humanism, Atheist Humanism, and Ethical Humanism – I still chose to describe myself as a Humanist because I can find no better word to express what I am. 

I am not merely an Atheist because although I don’t believe in God or gods because that would be to define myself by what I don’t believe in instead of those positive things which I do believe in.

I am a rationalist, I believe that the scientific method is the only way of approaching the world in order to understand it. Science cannot know everything about the universe and what it knows now may be subject to change later, but whilst you cannot prove anything to be absolutely true, you can more easily prove what is not true by conducting experiments and each time you disprove something, you move, by elimination, nearer to the truth. Whatever status quo science has brought us to is acceptable until there are discovered to be too many flaws in it and someone new can suggest a new view that, for the time being, cannot be disproved.

I am a materialist in the sense that I believe there is only a material world, not a dualistic world in which there are spirits waiting to pop into newborn babies and return to the other realm at the death of a human being, no heaven or hell, no reincarnation. Whenever I use the word “believe”, that means I can’t prove it to be the case, but like the scientific status quo, I find it acceptable for now – so I am atheist (don’t believe in gods) rather than agnostic (don’t know the answer about gods) but I accept that this is a matter of choice as to what I believe.

In the 19th century, many humanist groups were set up as an alternative to the religious. They might have been called Atheist, Humane or Ethical Societies and often they were as dedicated to “doing good work in the world” as any religious group. In humanism, what you do and how you live mater in exactly the same way as they do to people of religion, you have just arrived at motive differently, not because God told you to live in a particular way, but because it is obviously right to do so for and by, the good of humanity.

I believe (choose to believe) that human beings can be better rather than worse in the long run. I most certainly can’t prove or disprove this assertion and the Covid 19 crisis is a very good example of why not. On the one hand, there are right-wing politicians who are seeking to increase their power and its longevity under cover of the response to the crisis and on the other, millions of people have donated in excess of 30 million pounds to Captain Tom Moore’s charity fundraising event to support the National Health Service workers during the crisis. The former RAF pilot who served in WW2 and who turned 100 last week, crystallized the generosity of people who were already grateful to the NHS workers for their heroism and altruism in the face of personal danger from the virus. How could you possibly devise a way of weighing up the efforts of right-wing dictators against the efforts of Captain Tom and the NHS workers and those who have donated to them – you can’t and so my belief that people can be better rather worse, must remain an untestable belief – so once again, that is what I choose to believe.

Because the values of humanism are so great, so obviously right, that is why the term can be appropriated even by Christianity in it’s depiction of the values of Jesus as sent into the world by God, the son of God made human to bring God’s love to humanity – this does make the term humanism confusing given all the things I have already said about it…

If I don’t believe in a dualism of material and spiritual realms, then why Spiritual Humanist?

Spiritual

The word spirit is often conflated with the word soul and although they both come from an ancient word for breath, they are quite different. The soul is a word for the dualistic idea of an immutable essence that passes into the body at birth and returns to some spiritual realm at death. Breath is most certainly the first thing that enters the body at birth and the last thing to leave it at death bur the what are we to call the memories and personality of a person, which as a humanist, I believe must cease with death – what are we to call all that?
We often refer to a person’s spirit without meaning their soul in the religious sense as in “they have a kindly spirit” or we stay someone is “very spirited” – so I refer to that bundle of memories and personality, contained in the mind of a person, perhaps reflected in the appearance of their body as they develop, so easily damaged or destroyed by a blow to the head, and which makes the difference between a living person and a corpse, as their spirit. Just as the term humanism carries baggage and ambiguity, so too does the word spirit, but once again, I can’t find a better word – so here I am – choosing to call myself a Spiritual Humanist…

Spiritual Humanism – the Ripple effect

At this time of existential crisis, brought on by the Covid 19 pandemic, many people who have not previously thought about their own mortality, are doing so, in lockdown, without their normal support networks or the distractions of normal life. Very often, when say, a parent dies, the next generation find themselves contemplating their own mortality, and if their parents were in any way religious, they may find themselves in a church service for the burial or remembrance of their parent. Very often, I believe, this may strengthen either their own religious roots, however dormant they might have been, or else prompt a search for some other meaning, beyond the daily grind. my version of Spiritual Humanism is a way of seeing meaning in life and beyond the death of the individual which does not depend on a dualistic belief, and as such, this might be a good time to give it another push out into the world.

When a person dies, it is not as if they had never lived, not ever!

I remember there was a tramp, a homeless person who spent their life walking between my town and the next village – you would often pass him if you were going that way. Every time I saw him, he made me thankful for the home and the life I had, and I would wonder how he came to his point in life and what would become of him. If one day, as would inevitably happen, one way or another, he were not to  be seen again by people driving that road, I suggest that the memory of him would linger on, they would wonder if he had died or been taken into some sort of care –  either way, the memory of him would probably continue to make people glad for what they had in their own lives.

A child is stillborn and though they had no life beyond the womb, they have already filled their parent’s life with anticipation – good or even fearful – it is not as if they had never existed, their life, such as it was, has changed the world.

Everybody changes the world to a greater or lesser degree. Think of Florence Nightingale whose story got another boost by the temporary hospitals created in Britain to help fight the pandemic, they were called Nightingale Hospitals. Florence was white, Victorian and a woman. You might be black, born in Africa in the 21st century, and a male, but the first thing you will learn about if you choose to go into nursing might be the history of Florence Nightingale. So the work of Florence Nightingale, the energy, insight and impact of her spirit, not only affected her Victorian world, it continues to resonate to this day – like a ripple through the minds and institutions of humanity.

Not everybody is as famous as Florence Nightingale, but they can have as great an effect even without anybody being fully aware of it. Imagine village baker – he is a good kind man – everybody recognizes that but nobody knows the full extent of it. He gives a job to a man who has been in prison and helps him to turn his life around. He lends some money to a person when they have nowhere else to turn. He always slips, wordlessly, an extra bun into the single mother’s bag. He is very modest and none of these people ever share the story of how they were helped by the baker, not even after he dies, not because they are not grateful, but because they know he would have wanted it that way. Yet that baker changed the course of the whole village, the ex-con became a fine member of the community, the lender developed a business that employed many villagers and the children of the single mum grew up healthy and strong and one of them found a cure for one type of cancer.
The Ripple effect from that baker was strong!

If you believe in God or gods, then I will never try to dissuade you of your beliefs, but if in this time of crisis, you are seeking a way to reconcile yourself with your mortality and you can’t believe in a supernatural being, then think of your life in terms of the Ripple effect. How have you changed the world, have you left it a better place and who will remember you? Maybe you feel you have not contributed much, or even been a negative presence in the world. It is not too late, the story of the baker shows that you cannot tell which of your actions will have the greatest effect. Maybe you are mourning someone who has died, if so then you are demonstrating the Ripple effect, for you are carrying the memory and the particular energy of that person’s spirit with you already, now and for as long as you live. If you build whatever memorial is appropriate to that person’s life, you will pass their story on to others…

If contemplating life in the world as illuminated by these strange times leads to re-assessment and change for individuals or institutions, if it brings changes to their spirit, then that can only be for the good…

Please leave a comment so that I know you have been here, and stay safe…

Bread and Circuses – Metonymic, Akashic Records and Materialism

A morning adventure…

Lying in bed this Saturday morning, I started checking my emails on the phone. There was an alert to a post by Deborah Weber over at Garden of Delights for the letter Y (part of the A to Z 2020 Challenge) – Yeppsen – the amount that can be held in two hands – an obsolete word as many of Deborah’s words have been, unusual, interesting words.

Then it was over to an email chain from my school friends of 47 years ago and one of them mentioned panem et circenses (yes we were posh enough to study Latin) or in English – bread and circuses. Just to check I had translated it right and to see what it originally meant, I checked it out on Wikipedia which as well as attributing it to Juvenal’s “Satire X”, told me that the phrase is an example of a metonym. Well despite the posh-ish education, I had never heard of this so it was another link on Wikipedia to find out what that means! To explain, Wikipedia (last updated on 30th April 2020 so hot stuff!) had to examine and contrast Metonyms and Metaphors as well as touching on Synecdoches and Toponyms and even Metalepsis. You see how this internet surfing goes…
Back to the meaning of Bread and Circuses – Juvenal was expressing disappointment that the mass of Roman citizens had ditched their republican ideals of taking their politics seriously and electing their, politicians, generals and officials – instead they fell for cheap bribes of grain (for bread) and circuses (entertainment). How little things have changed, we in the UK have a Prime Minister who made up the story about the European Union bureaucrats requiring straight bananas in future. He was working as journalist in Brussels and was too lazy to research real stories about the EU and later took us out of the EU – whilst in the US – well let me go no further down the critique of the political technique of distraction – you all know who I am talking about…

A depiction of Juvenal in the Nuremberg Chronicle, late 1400s. Wiki Commons


So what is a Metonym? Well, an example would be talking about The White House meaning, not the building itself, but the President and all his men and women in the West Wing who constitute that part of the US government. Now that is only part of this in-depth article in Wikipedia and if you are interested in linguistics and philosophy, then head over there pronto! I did read it all, and it was interesting to me even though I realized that I use metonymic phrases all the time without realizing it, but what I thought about it was a) you can use things without needing to understand the deep philosophical/linguistic issues and b) that this is the sort of stuff I bet Deborah Weber would love!

So I decided to go and read Deborah’s About page where I learned that Deborah is a Spiritual Guide and Alternative Health practitioner. I find myself very torn by this because – as my stepdaughter has told me – I am a materialist. I prefer rationalist, but that does not mean I do not have a spiritual view of life either. My first blog, Ripple, from which I quoted on bread, yesterday, was named for my belief that we all emanate energy and effect into the world, and even after we die, that energy and effect carries on spreading out into the world. What you do in life, for better or worse, goes on and on so that even though I don’t believe in an afterlife, I do think that how you live your life is very important not just in a karmic sense within your lifetime, but in terms of what you leave behind, how you change the world. So I really like to describe myself as a Spiritual Humanist. I think I will do a whole post on this but for now I just want to say that there is much about Deborah as a blogger and health practitioner that I love and much that I find difficult such as Akashic Records. But hey! That’s okay, things don’t have to be binary, we can handle grey areas rather than mere black and white…

So all this happened before I even got out of bed…

Give us our daily bread..

I managed to get all the way through a month of the A to Z 2020 Challenge without once posting about food and one of my two favourite foods – bread in particular. (The other is Apples!)

Today I am going to redress that with two things, the first reprising a piece I posted on my first blog “Ripple” on Mo’time. This brilliant collection of bloggers were on a small Italian blog run as a testbed for new bloggery for a larger Italian blog. Unfortunately, the company was sold and after a few months, Mo’time was no more and all the posts disappeared, albeit, not before the chance to download them. Firstly I am doing the reprise and then for something new…

When I first started Ripple, we had been living in a cottage on the west coast of Ireland with no felt in the roof so freezing in the winter and no place, not even an airing cupboard, to rise bread. So, with foreboding, I bought a bread machine that would do its own rising. However, whilst it did exactly what it was supposed to do and made nice tasty bread, it didn’t offer the possibility of more creative experiments so I worked out how to do it and the following is a verbatim quote from Ripple which I have come to think of as 

How to Break All the Rules with Your Bread Maker!

“1. The first rule I broke was the inclusion of dried milk powder. It didn’t seem logical to put water and milk powder when you could just put milk. So I did, and then, since I make a kind of drinkable yoghurt called kefir (another story but ask away), I used that too and found that it worked even better. After all, Ireland where I was living at the time, has long used buttermilk in its soda bread.
If you mess around with the liquids though, you will have to abandon the total convenience of putting all the ingredients in, setting the timer and walking away. It is vital that the dough be not too dry and not too sloppy and so if you havent measured ingredients precisely as per machine instructions, you need to keep the lid open and maybe make adjustments to the mix during the first five minutes. How will you know what is right? Ultimately, an experienced eye coupled with a gentle finger prod. Before that though, its the same instruction as for hand-making bread – when the dough pulls away from the side and providing it isn’t thudding round like a burnt Christmas pudding, then its probably right.
Now if you want the bread to be freshly baked when you get up in the morning, you can at this point switch the machine off, set the timer and it will wake up and knead the dough again at the appropriate hour and be so much the better for it! More kneading means more bubble trapping gluten develops which means a lighter loaf.

2. Yeasts and sourdoughs.
Bread machine manufacturers advise against using fresh yeast and offer no recipe for sourdough starters. In the former case, it is because the fresh yeast may rise too much, spillover and fall on the heater elements, form big bubbles in the top of the loaf which may collapse and generally not form the perfect loaf which a machine is duty-bound to turn out! Even the salt which all recipes include is not there for seasoning but to keep those puffed up yeasts in order! You can break these rules and use either the hyperactive fresh yeast or the slow off the mark sourdough starter. The latter is after all yeast, just naturally occurring and variable rather than the mono-cultural brewers leftover yeast which may be the source of your fresh stuff.
You just need two different tricks. Horses for courses.

For sourdough, run the cycle twice, stopping the machine as near to the baking time (usually the last 60 minutes) as possible and starting it over again. This way the yeasts get twice the time to grow and develop, feeding on the flour itself as well as any sugar you have added. This is what makes sourdough bread so tasty and factory steamed bread so tasteless (near-instant yeast that puffs up the bread in minutes). I won’t go into making sourdough starters here but ask if you want.

3. Become a Slasher
For fresh yeast bread, it is a case of another intervention that rules out leaving the bread to do overnight, you must slash the bread at pretty much the exact right time. Slashing bread, as well as making it look pretty, does two things, it makes sure there are not lots of big bubbles hiding near the top of your loaf ready to mess up your slices in that annoying way. Slashing at the right time. about 30-20 minutes before the actual baking, pricks the bubbles and lets the loaf rise to fill any collapse occasioned. In the case of a denser bread which might be struggling to rise, such as sourdough or a bread using a less gluten-developing flour like rye, the slashing opens up the crust which may have dried a little forming a restrictive skin, and the bread is free to expand again. With these breads slashing can occur earlier, as long as the last kneading cycle has taken place.

Once I managed a restaurant with a wholefood shop on the side and our baker up the road supplied the bread. Not so knowledgeable in those days I described the kind of brick-like dense loaf which I knew would be expected by wholefooders. He couldn’t quite grasp it and so we arranged to visit The Neals Yard bakery in Covent Garden. So little was my interest in the technicalities I regret I stayed outside, but afterward, I asked him if he understood now, having seen their product. He said he did, and that it was on account of they didn’t use their proving racks properly. They didn’t put water in the tray in the bottom that moistens the warm air in which the loaves in their tins do their final rising. Accordingly, a crust formed and restricted the bread from rising. the baker supplied us with his normal offering – big and squeezable and, made from exactly the same dough but stunted by drier proving, a denser “wholefood” loaf. Each loaf had its adherents and both camps, if let in on the secret (in the event say, that one type had run out), refused to believe that the bread was made from the same batch of dough!

A last word on yeast, I also make a drink of fermented tea called Kombucha and I save the yeast at the bottom to add to my bread simply observing the same precaution as for fresh yeast.

To conclude, you can experiment in many ways not even hinted at in your bread-machines manual providing you are prepared to make the odd intervention during the process, get the initial dough mix just right and get slashing near the end, before the baking starts.

There are those who throw up their hands in horror at the idea of a machine making bread, not at all Zen! But I feel that the machine offers a consistent environment, even in the coldest house, in which the variations you experiment with are more easily judged. So far there is no type of bread I have not been able to produce.”

Ripple – 22nd May 2006

Now if that hasn’t been too much bread and you are not feeling bloated:-

No-Knead Bread

During the Covid 19 Crisis, it has been impossible to buy flour, let alone strong bread flour – I surmise that the Great British Bake Off has made aspirant bakers of us all – or perhaps people thought it would be good to do with the kids…( just picturing kid bombed kitchens…)
Anyway, recently I saw something about No-Knead Bread and was immediately intrigued since the central process of making bread is alternating a number of rising or proving sessions of the dough, with vigorous kneading and this kneading is what develops the gluten. Gluten is the protein part of the flour and the leading gets it to develop and form a stickiness that traps the carbon dioxide which is produced by the yeast (feeding on the sugar) and that is what puffs up the bread. Looking on the internet, I found numerous recipes (and I will let you do the same) but none of them explained how bread could rise without kneading being involved! 
I turned to the goto book when a scientific question about food arises – “McGee on Food and Cooking” – it’s the bible!


Mr. McGee didn’t disappoint! It turns out, that if you use a very wet dough – which all the recipes did – then the protein chains which are the gluten, instead of having to be forced together by kneading, join up of their own accord – magic! (Or rather, science!)
So that was the secret of no-knead bread and by all means, give it a go! It comes out of the oven with a very dry crust because it is baked even hotter than normal bread but there is so much moisture within that it softens and gives you a ciabatta like loaf.

Well, I hope I have presented my credentials as a serious foodie and I have made up for the dearth of food during the challenge.

Please comment – especially if you try any of these ideas so I know you have been here…