There are songs too sad for me to sing to sing that is, without tearing up and who can wait for the singer to recover and compose themselves sufficiently to continue…
At first there was just one song I couldn’t manage Elvis Presley’s “In the Ghetto” – I could listen but when I tried to sing it -my throat closed and my eyes watered – I could not perform
As years go by more songs are added to the canon of those I cannot get through without weeping and often I cannot listen either – are they songs of mourning, laments, requiems
nothing so formal, but tales of the human condition the mere brevity of which is tragedy enough, or the near impossibility of finishing a shared life at exactly the same moment…
Dolly Parton’s “Coat of Many Colours” might be considered kitsch if it were not true or true enough and I weep to hear the sweetness of her sometime collaborator Linda Ronstadt who has lost her voice to Parkinson’s and sings only within the loving circle of family. The exquisitely sad songs of Charlie Dore – a woman pretending her lover lives on the other side of the world in “Australia” so as not to acknowledge his abandonment – he must be sleeping while she endures the day… The rubato moments when Patsy Cline’s rich voice almost catches, falters, as it lays down the tragic tales of loss, longing and betrayal sung to cheerful melodies that belie the sentiment. Joni Mitchell wishing for a “River” to skate away on surely the saddest Christmas song Billie Holiday singing “Strange Fruit” a lump rises in my throat even as I write and to think of all those who left us too soon their lives driven, and driven down, by the need to perform, entertain, be loved… Janis Joplin, Nick Drake, Prince John Lennon, Jim Morrison Ian Dury who sang of “Sweet Gene Vincent” “Young, and old, and gone…” so many more…
These are the singers and musical moments that undo me…
I used to say that I listened to sad music when I was happy and that happy songs could elevate my lower moods but boundaries blur and I see poignancy everywhere and there are songs too sad for me to sing…
Over at dVerse Poets Pub, merrildsmith in Poetics invites us to write about music and this is also the theme for next month’s meeting of my “in the real world” local library poetry group…
I confess I am not a great fan of autobiographiesthat begin at the beginning and follow a temporal path up to the present day – not that the person might not have some interesting stories, facts and opinions strung on their necklace, but it just doesn’t appeal as a structure. On the other hand, in my last, extra year at school in Oxford, retaking an A-level and adding a couple more, I was allowed out of school on my recognisance and saw a fascinating Exhibition at the Modern Art Gallery. The Artist had laid out and photographed every single possession of a single person – for example, all the cutlery was laid out in one shot, all the shoes in another. This more thematic approach appeals more and although I am not arranging the objects which I have chosen to tell my story in chronological order, I hope that my writing will be sufficiently interesting to keep your interest Dear Reader, and that on the journey from A to Z, you will assemble an impression of my life and who I am…
Marmite has become a word that is shorthand for “Love it or Hate it” since the strong-tasting, quintessential British contribution to spreads/food ingredients divides the room. It is yeast extract and is made from the yeast that accumulates at the bottom of beer brewing tanks and if you ever have the good fortune to smell a Marmite, collection tanker passing, you will know the truth of this! As well as eating it on toast, I like to spread it on the toast for baked beans which can be bland but is transformed by the addition of marmite…
Music
Music pervades and has always pervaded my life to such an extent that I am not aware of its centrality but from the few records that my parents possessed (including a 78 rpm record of Elvis Presley’s Blue Suede Shoes), to learning the violin at school, to progressively listening to Radio Luxembourg and Radio Caroline on a valve radio to the ease of access that Spotify and You Tube give us to much of all recorded music, I love not just the music but the musicology – the family tree and genetics of music. I gave up the violin for the guitar and the guitar for the ukulele (more of that later), I have sung in choirs from Mozart’s requiem to Dylan – I can’t imagine living without music. On the days when I go to work, I listen to the morning news radio but on the way home I listen to music…
Two musical games of my own invention that you might enjoy… 1. Music Associations Ideal on a long journey – you play word association but with the title or a line from a song and anyone can challenge a player to explain the connection and if all the other players agree that the connection is valid, the challenged gains a point but if the challenge fails then the challenger loses a point. an example of the chain might be:- Heart like a Wheel – Little Red Corvette (cars have wheels) – Little Red Rooster – Wake up in the Morning etc. Connections could be word associations but they could be deeper – composer, covered by the previous singer – the possibilities are endless…
2. Hit or a Miss(Juke Box Jury) Juke Box Jury was an early panel show on British TV in which the host, David Jacobs, played the latest pop songs to a panel of guests who were then invited to vote it – Hit or a Miss! With a group of friends, two people at a time play three random songs from a playlist of their own favourites one at a time and everybody else votes on each song as Hit or Miss and the winner is the one with the most hits. Each person may choose the starting song, but then the playlist must be set to Shuffle for the next two songs. My music choices are so eclectic, I couldn’t possibly choose favourite music but to give you a taste, here are three pieces from my largest playlist on Spotify chosen according to the rules of the game…
Sweet Dreams – Bettye Swanne Breath Again – Åsa You Do Something To Me – Sinead O’Connor
Well, with 71 hours and 9 minutes of music to choose from – those surprised me too, especially the second choice but that’s the fun of the game!
Murals
This mural was designed by the Irish designer of religious art Desmond Kyne for whom I executed several commissions – since he was in his eighties, he could never have painted this. St. Joesph’s Church, Keelogues, Ireland, had been completely refurbished and Desmond designed the mural and the altar inset which he made with a secret technique that has sadly disappeared with the late artist.
Desmond Kyne and I at the installation of an earlier project where I made the Rereredos which houses Desmond’s icon. The Rererdos is a frame that allows the icon to be taken out and paraded around the parish on religious holidays. You can see some of the same religious elements as in the mural – the descending Dove motif and the flaming Holy Spirit…
My signwriting days will have to wait till the letter “S” but following the car accident which broke my hip in 1999, I was unable to work up ladders in the way I did before and although I started teaching part-time at Sligo Institute of Technology, I also got a couple of mural commissions which I did with I did with my friend Rob Forrester. They were possible to do using lifting platforms or cherry-pickers, obviating ladders. In fact one of the first important jobs I did after moving to Ireland was a mural for a bookshop called The Winding Stair after a poem by the Sligo poet, WB Yeats. The owner already had a successful shop of the same name on the banks of the Liffey in Dublin and had been waiting for some years to get suitable premises in Sligo. Kevin gave me considerable licence in designing the mural, and it served as a great advertisement for me which everybody knew. Here you can see a news item on RTE – the Irish TV, which features a much younger me painting the mural…
Memories – A Poetic Interlude
House with No Plan
The plan of my mind palace does not exist I haven’t tried to master my memories in that way but instead I wander through the corridors opening doors not quite at random and relying on my innate sense of direction to find my way back out of the labyrinth.
So sometimes I arrive in pleasant pieces of the past and sometimes in rooms I would rather not visit their contents not yet come to terms with or understood in the scheme of things
Nobody else can follow me here so I needn’t draw the map out with notes in the margin “Here be monsters!” only I need to know the rooms best avoided or put on the long finger to explore yet sometimes my mental map lets me down and I find myself lost and shivering, stuck in the darker places searching for meaning
The Poetry Postcard Fest is a challenge which encourages poets to write an unedited poem on a postcard and send it to a stranger. Organised by the Cascadia Poetics Lab, who organise the participants into lists of 31 + yourself for you to address your offerings to. This was my first year and hearing about it just in time to register, I was on List 15. The lists are sent out in early July and you have until the end of August to send out your missives – to date I have received 20 of 31 possibles and now that we are into September, it is allowable to share the cards and poems you sent and the cards but not the poems you received. I will share these in the order of sending and I will miss out those which I have not yet received in case they arrive soon… Although the original poem is to be sent as written – crossings out, blots and all, I have typed them out for people who can’t read my writing and I am allowing myself to edit if I feel like it…
Dear Allison
I see you live on a hill perhaps on a road that encircles it there are many Chapel Roads in England, more still in Wales where you are CHAPEL rather than Church. Writing to a stranger in Epistolary form there is little enough to go on so I send you the view from another hill looking towards Wuthering Heights where I snooze for an hour during Barbara’s Reiki session…
Allison’s card was the 23rd and last card I received – not that Allison was tardy in posting it – she posted on 5th of July and it arrived 3rd of October having been “Missent to Jamaica” (as rubber stamped on the back!) Who doesn’t love a well-travelled card!” And on the back of this angelic card was a Haiku on the subject of the relationship between music and angels.
The Poetry Postcard Fest is a challenge which encourages poets to write an unedited poem on a postcard and send it to a stranger. Organised by the Cascadia Poetics Lab, who organise the participants into lists of 31 + yourself for you to address your offerings to. This was my first year and hearing about it just in time to register, I was on List 15. The lists are sent out in early July and you have until the end of August to send out your missives – to date I have received 20 of 31 possibles and now that we are into September, it is allowable to share the cards and poems you sent and the cards but not the poems you received. I will share these in the order of sending and I will miss out those which I have not yet received in case they arrive soon… Although the original poem is to be sent as written – crossings out, blots and all, I have typed them out for people who can’t read my writing and I am allowing myself to edit if I feel like it…
Dear Christopher
Can you surf in the Gulf on the outer edge of the Keys is there enough fetch to raise waves suitable for surfing and which way does the wind blow or is it calm enough to paddleboard- the latest craze! I took these brightly coloured boards at St. Ives in Cornwall where surf and art mix I thought they were surf boards but looking now I am unsure perhaps kayaks – another way to breast the brine I savoured their beauty in the sun too old to try them out…
Christopher’s poem was a fine metaphor of the various times of data, and night, on the peaks, seen as music – perfectly prompted by his card – Maurice Baquet playing Chamber Music…
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