Milk and a Martian Poem

The dual theme of my A to Z Challenge this year is the world of Commodities and Poetry Forms so the juxtaposition of these two themes may throw up some strange poems – could be a Heroic Ode to Heating Oil or will it merit a Haiku or a Haibun – whichever, I will be endeavouring to bring you interesting facts about commodities that may change the way you think about the stuff we variously depend on…

By commodity I mean certain items that are of both sufficient value/volume to be traded in special markets and are generally volatile enough to attract traders in “Futures” which are a way of hedging bets in the trading world of stocks, shares and commodities.

The A to Z Challenge runs throughout April and will consist of 26 posts – there are only a couple of letters for which I couldn’t find commodities but plenty of poetry forms to carry the day!

Worldwide Trade – 893 billion U.S. dollars in 2021

Life begins with ‘mother’s milk’ – if you are lucky – if you lost your mother in childbirth or your mother is unable breast feed or is driven by outdated mores not to breastfeed – then you will likely depend on ‘formula’ milk which has been sourced from other animals – most frequently cows. If your country does not produce sufficient milk for the production of dried milk, then your formula will contain milk-powder that has been imported from some other part of the world. Powdered because it is easier and cheaper to transport than the fresh liquid. Some parts of the world are unfamiliar with fresh milk and all their milk has been processed into UHT (Utra High Temperature treatment), or else they re-constitute milk from dried powder but both this and UHT milk are not the same in terms of quality – powdered milk often lacking the fat element of fresh and UHT having an aftertaste…

If you think of milk only of a dewy glass of fresh milk straight from the fridge (and already you have made a choice between Full-fat, Semi-skimmed and Skimmed), then you are forgetting all the ‘Preserved Milk’ products – for that is what all the various yoghurts, butters and cheeses in the world are – forms of preserved milk. Preservation means treating something so that it will last longer without spoiling. For example, in rural Ireland in the 18th-19th centuries, a reasonably prosperous family might keep a milk-cow as well as grow potatoes, and in the Summer, they would churn the higher yield of milk into butter. The byproduct – buttermilk, was dunk fresh or allowed to ferment slightly and consumed with last seasons potatoes. The butter was wrapped in the leaves of the Butterbur plant which are suitably large, and then buried in the peat bog where the anaerobic and acid conditions perfectly preserved the butter. Come Winter and the family consumed new season potatoes with butter dug up from the bog. This was a surprisingly heathy diet since potatoes are very rich in vitamin C whilst milk products have a good balance of protein , fat and carbohydrate and are a very important source of essential nutrients, including calcium, riboflavin, phosphorous, vitamins A and B12, potassium, magnesium, zinc, and iodine. So the preservation of milk, by freeze drying it to a powder or turning it into a secondary product like yoghurt or cheese is a huge part of the journey of milk on the international market.

I work in a Gelato (Ice Cream) factory and as we soon upscale to much bigger capacity equipment – we face the choice of whether to stick with fresh whole-milk (meaning a tanker sized refrigerated tank on the outside of the factory) or go with powdered milk (a vast reserve of palleted powder, reconstituted with water and probably coconut oil added). Our Italian gelato consultant tells us that in taste tests, most no-one can tell the difference but that people (the ones who read the ingredients) like to see Whole Milk (in bold because it is a notifiable allergen!) Previously I had a small frozen yoghurt shop and I made my own mix of plain yoghurt, milk and sugar and I also sold Boba Tea. Boba Tea was not big in Britain back then and so it survived the 2008 Chinese dried milk scandal and is now slowly gaining traction. The real scandal was that some 54,000 babies got sick and four died due to formula made with Chinese dried milk powder contaminated with Melamine (read the full story here) but the damage to the reputation of Chinese agricultural products was enormous and the Boba Tea mixes which were largely powdered milk in particular, causing the collapse of Boba Tea shops across much of Europe though not in the UK where Boba Tea was in its infancy. This is not the sort of thing tat is supposed to happen in the world of soft commodities – as I write, it has just been announced that following the latest safety scandal regarding Boeing aircraft, in which a door plug came off one whilst in flight, the senior management have been axed because they suppressed any whistleblowing over safety concerns by workers and middle management. When the episode occurred, Boeing shares took a nosedive and the change of management will not immediately restore the value of those shares. These things happen in the world of stocks and shares and the nearest equivalent in soft commodities is a bad harvest which as we saw with Frost Futures, can even be hedged against – but a crisis of confidence due to criminality at worst, negligence at best as happened with Chinese milk – is not supposed to happen – commodities are supposed to be what those in the heady world of high finance buy to ameliorate the vicissitudes of their portfolios…

Who are the exporters of Milk and who are the great importers?

And here are the places that produce milk…

And lastly – here are the top milk processing companies in the world – see if you can spot one you know…

And so to today’s poetry form and the poetry form I have chosen is Martian Poetry. The Martian Poets were a small group of poets who were reacting against the somewhat dour and sometimes pessimistic poetry of the post-war group known as The Movement which included Philip Larkin, Kingsley Amis, Donald Davie, D. J. Enright, John Wain, Elizabeth Jennings, Thom Gunn and Robert Conquest. The Martian Poets were named for a poem by Craig Raine (whom I met once) called A Martian Writes a Postcard Home. Other Martian Poets included Christopher Reid, Oliver Reynolds and John Hall Wheelock and the nature of the poetry “drew inspiration from surrealism, metaphysical poetry of John Donne, Andrew Marvell, etc., nonsense poetry of Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear, and Anglo-Saxon riddles.” My poem below is a homage to Craig Raine’s original Martian poem…

Martian Report 11011/101 Milk

Where does milk come from?
I asked my host’s sprout No.2
Zoe identifying as she/her
100¹ solar rotations
Tesco! She replied
No silly! Cows!
Mark – sprout No.1
identifying as he/him
110² solar rotations
supplementary identity brother
Dad! What’s a cow?
Asked Zoe
We will take our Martian friend
to a farm this weekend
and you shall see cows!
Host and pod senior
11100³ solar rotations
identifying as he/him
supplemental identity – Father

Cows – it turns out
are breast-feeders
on four legs
unlike the host identifying
as she/her
supplementary identity – Mother
who walks on two legs
– cows are enslaved
and farms are prisons
enclosures of grass
which is a brush
for brushing up sunlight
and converting the energy
so cows can make milk
and – as it turns out – meat

Zoe imbibes a lot of milk
she made that weird expression
I cannot fathom the meaning of
when the cow breast
was pointed out
It’s dirty! She said
she ran off to look at
some cow progeny
that were being loaded
into a transporter
– diesel class/lorry
Why haven’t they got breasts
Zoe asked the prison superintendent
They identify as he/him
she was told
and we don’t need them
so we are selling them…
Why make the cows
have them then?
asked Mark
If the cows don’t have babies
they won’t make milk
for you to drink!
What happens to
those boys? Asked Mark
They will be fattened up
and go to market
said the superintendent
Go to market for what?
asked Mark
Why to be eaten!
Zoe made a high-pitched noise
and ran away shouting
I’m never going to drink milk again
or eat meat!
Now look what you’ve done!
Said Mother…

¹ 4 Years old
² 6 Years old
³ 28 Years old

© Andrew Wilson, 2024

Roadtrip Review No. 6 – a self-review…

Borne up and drawn in
by fast becoming friends’
web of writing prompts

Writing is a unique space for me and increasingly so. My dear departed sister encouraged me to go to a writing group in Sligo, Ireland – a place full of writers and artists and all in the shadow of the poet WB Yeats. Indeed, when I first moved there in 1995, one of my early commissions as a signwriter and, it turns out, a muralist, was to paint a mural of WB Yeats on a new secondhand bookshop – The Winding Stair – named for the title poem of one of Yeats’ books of poetry – you can see me painting it here. I had studied Yeatss at school in English (Literature) which replaces the English (Creative) of earlier school years – why do they do that? I also painted a little but didn’t want to go down the road of fine art because I perceived that artists are so often groomed by galleries encouraging them to produce more of what sells rather than following their own creative wanderings. And so I became a signwriter (painted not computer-cut vinyl) where the creative input is much smaller and constrained by a brief but, I felt, more honest and more sure as a means of making a living. Moving to Ireland gave me a new burst of creative freedom as a signwriter – especially after doing the Yeats mural although some years later, The Winding Stair closed down and the subsequent occupiers of the shop painted over my “masterwork” – a lesson in the zen of attachment to earthly achievement…

Going back to the writing group, it was such a pleasure to rediscover the joy of putting words on the blank canvas of the page – I produced a slim volume of the group’s writings including a CD of the members reading their pieces – and then I discovered blogging… By now it was 2005 and my partner and I moved back to England to see more of our growing grandchildren, and as we waited to complete our stable-to-house conversion, there was no time to make friends in the community and so blogging remained my virtual circle of friendship. I belonged to a blog -site called Mo’time run by an American living in Italy, who created Mo’time as a test bed for ideas for the larger site which was his job. Sadly, the larger site was sold and Mo’time terminated and though we made several attempts to kindle a new space – it was never the same – however I still see quite a few Mo’timers on Facebook.

Then in 2020, on April 1st – I stumbled across the A to ZX Challenge and as the pandemic was taking hold, I plunged in! Each year has been differently themed and I have encountered new fellow writers as well as old friends. This year, however, writing was even more central – my theme was on the etymology of phrases and so was like honey to writing bees and I have joined another writing group – not in the flesh, but by Zoom and our facilitator is also an A to Z-er. What has been different though, is that through the new writing friends I have made (and reviewed here on my Roadtrip) I have encountered a world of other blogging challenges, written, photographic and especially poetry. Since my writing group is prompted by poems and much of what I have written has been (Free) Verse, it was like an alignment of the planets – instead of tailing off into silence after the A to Z finished, I am being tempted and indeed succumbing to all sorts of new challenges as well as writing in my group. I created the picture at the top of this post using Midjourney – another takeaway from this year’s A to Z (thanks to Misky and Vidya) to convey the sense of both support and crazy fear of falling out of control and spending my whole time writing challenge posts! So far I have engaged with Six Degrees of Separation, the Poet’s Pub and Sadje’s WDYS (What Do You See) and in the interests of Life/Work/life balance, I think that may be enough for now – things should be a pleasure and not a pressure… And then there are two novels to get back to, one finished to first draft and the other, a more serious work, with a lot of writing to go! And I used to spend a lot of time keeping abreast of the news! And then there’s the allotment – water and weed it or lose it! And then there is my partner, children and grandchildren not to mention two and a half days at work…

Here’s the thing though, within reason, the more you do, the more you fit in because what goes is the dross, the stuff that didn’t really matter, write poetry not protest seems to be where I am right now…

P. S. I have been told that I am not great at communicating, say, enthusiastic responses, that I may even be on the spectrum, but when I write, even though I may not feel the feelings whilst in the act of writing, be it poetry, prose or fiction, when I read back emotional content, I emote with the best of them, tear up – the works. So I guess writing is my medium of expression…

Roadtrip Review No.1

This is a review of blogs who participated in the A to Z Challenge 2023 starting with those who were frequent flyers in my Comments…

Misky over on IT’S STILL LIFE, has been posting poems accompanied by AI-generated images for the A to Z. Not only has she inspired me in my return to poetry writing, but since AI is a hot topic now, the incredible images in her posts have caused me to begin my own evaluative exploration of AI – and may I say how generous Misky has been in giving me pointers as to where to begin! Having tried creating some pictures myself, using the Midjourney bot on Discord, I still cannot begin to imagine how the AI creates the pictures. I can however, imagine the processes of Misky, the poet and I urge you to go and read and look… I should add that Misky is a multiple poster, she offers a Twiglet Writing Prompt as well as participating in many other peoples’ prompt series.

An image generated by Midjourney to the prompt “a community of bloggers around the world sharing their post

D B McNichol is a seriously productive writer of at least 32 novels on Goodreads alone and whose perspicacity was demonstrated by the fact that she gave up the whole of April to the A to Z Challenge! Having pre-prepared all of her posts in advance, she was then free to spend at least four hours a day reading other people’s blogs 35-40 0f them, and commenting on them! Her own posts were lists of Small Delights, Simple Pleasures and Significant Pleasures which challenged the reader to consider and add their own favourites. Donna had retired from a career in IT before she even started writing books and if the effort she has demonstrated on the A to Z is anything to go by, it’s no wonder she has become a successful author – Kudos!

Deborah Weber is an old friend from the A to Z Challenge and each year she has written compelling Abercadariums of great subjects – and this year she wrote from a list of obscure colour names. Not only were the posts fascinating in themselves, but Deborah wrote in a free-association way (which she talks about in her Reflections post) rather than the more usual linear delivery. To my mind, this is not only the most preferable way of writing or talking (see my post on Alastair Cooke) but the essence of why we read blogs. A blog is not a textbook and Deborah with her free association gets my vote every time! I should say that as a sometime signwriter, specialist decorator and artist, Colours are right up my street anyway…

Sadje in her Keep it Alive blog, is another multiple-strand post-er of ideas and challenges, and although her domain name says “life after 50 for women” – her challenges and advice as well as her readers, are for and of both sexes. You only have to look at her use of Categories in the banner at the top of her site to see the variety of subjects tackled by Sadje… For her theme this year, Sadje posed a series of (challenging) questions designed to stimulate her readers to do more with mind, body and spirit – use it or lose it might be her motto…

Josna in Tell me Another (story) does just that – she shares stories about a recent visit home to India from the States where she now lives. Visits home are always a poignant mix of reminiscence and comparison with the person we are now and the place where we now reside and Josna does not disappoint. You will be transported to the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of Josna’s India as well as her more personal thoughts…

Lady Lee Manilla has been someone who once followed, has been the most prodigious presence in my Jetpack (WordPress) feed! Another multiple post-er, every day, Lady Lee has shared her poems, her photos and her life with her 1,438 followers of whom I am obviously just a recent addition! Her enthusiasm for poetry – her own and others – and the warmth of her sharing, have endeared Lady Lee to me…

I will be continuing these reviews because there are many left to describe but I have been working for three hours now and my stomach is demanding breakfast…

Another iteration (you always get four) from Midjourney to the prompt “a community of bloggers around the world sharing their post” – weird and wonderful…

Reflections on the A to Z Challenge 2023

The A to Z Challenge or the April month of madness as I usually think of it, has been a little less mad for me this year – I had about 12 posts ready ahead of time and managed to stay ahead until the letter X when I pantsed it but also wrote Y and Z ahead of the last days – a sprint to the finish!

I wrote about 16,600 words up to today, not including comments both replying to those who kindly visited, and I try never to leave any comment un-replied to! But then there are the visits back which sometimes elicited quite long comments on my part – because I hate just visiting back as an excuse to leave my blog post link – and in any case there were some very interesting posts that richly deserved a fulsome comment!

But what really marks my experience of each and every year of my four years of participating in the challenge, is the friends that either re-connect or, in the case of this year, the entirely new group of friends that have returned regularly throughout the month. Perhaps the nature of my theme attracts different people, perhaps the posts by those visiting, elicited more visits from me. The WordPress App was replaced by Jetpack and I soon found myself subscribed to a list of bloggers who participate in multiple challenges simultaneously and so, as well as the A to Z posts, I found my notifications full of poems, photographs and excitingly, some AI generated images. There is so much talk at present about AI that I have decided to try and keep the momentum of blog posting going, with a personal evaluative exploration of AI for both text and image creation at the end of which I hope to be able to express an informed opinion about whether we are likely to be under the thumb of AI or released from tedious labours…

I will be reviewing some of the wonderful bloggers I have met this year in my Roadtrip reviews so I hope you will stop by for that – I don’t know about you, but there is nobody whose every post I managed to visit and definitely some I want to fill in the gaps with!

As to my own writing experience, the posts certainly developed a life of their own, demanding much more research and crafting than I imagined as I built a list of possible phrases. But that work seemed to have pleased judging by the latter day comments which makes it worthwhile. There were only two posts that received no comments and one of those “X” manages to illustrate a Roman pagan festival with a pop video from Meghan Traynor of which I am quite proud, so if you missed it… Admittedly, by X and Y, I think everyone is suffering a little blog-fatigue!
There was also the great article from Wikipedia on Cant Languages from which all about four letters were furnished with languages…

Did I have a favourite – well I could only narrow it down to four – M, N, Q and R…

So there we are and Roadtrip here we come…

A – The Apple of my Eye, Academic – Contranyms…

B – The Bitter End, Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Brass monkeys, Butcher’s Bill, – Sailors’ terms

C – Cockney, Cant, Chip on your shoulder, Codswallop – Just weird…

D – In Deep Water (Out of your Depth), Dead in the water, Doozy!

Early Hours – flowers, Early Doors, and The Elephant in the Room…

 Flash in the pan, Full of Beans – False Flag –  Historical Anachronisms and who might be a Friend of Dorothy…

G – Greenlit, Get someone’s goat – Get there with the olives -Spanish at end of meal –Surviving historical anachronisms

H – He hath eaten me out of house and home – Shakespeare

 I – In the doldrums, Idler, In the Offing.

J – Jiggered – Euphemisms

K – Kick the Bucket, bucket list, Know the ropes…

L – The Two Meanings of LOL, Lady Godiva and Use Your Head – more Rhyming Slang and Text Abbreviations…

M – Mad as a Hatter, – Job related

N – Nutty Slack a tale of nudity, naturism and coal – oh and town planning – Nail Your Colours to the Mast…

O – Offshore (rules are out of jurisdiction)

P – Pony Up, Pipe Dreams, Pig in a Poke and Letting the Cat out of the Bag.

Q – Queen of Hearts – Quisling – Figures from History – Eponyms…

R – Robot – robota – Czech for forced labour – “Foreign” words appropriated – Rule of Thumb…

S –See a man about a dog, Spill the Beans, Strike while the Iron is hot, Steal one’s thunder, Swinging the Lead,  Shake a leg…

T – Three Sheets to the Wind, Truffle out, Tarnation, Tits up – break a leg. On Tenterhooks…

U – Under the Weather, – Upper case / Lower case, – Umble pie…

V – V-sign/ Victory V

W – Wednesday, Friday etc.- Linguistic hangovers – Walk the Chalk, Winging it –Whistlestop Tour…

Xmas Tree, Extras, EXpelliarmus – Made up languages…

Y.-. Yard of Tripe –Rhyming Slang – Yard of Clay – You may think so but I couldn’t possibly say – phrases from plays – ads – Does what it says on the tin…

Z – Zounds –Bloody – Gor Blimey – Lordy – Abbreviations for religious purposes…

Z – Zounds –Bloody – Gor Blimey – Lordy – Abbreviations for religious purposes…

Back in “J” for jiggered, we encountered modifying a word slightly to make it more socially acceptable and today with Zounds! We have an expression that may have changed through running the words together rather than deliberately disguising them Zounds is short for “God’s wounds” and similarly Blimey or Cor Blimey is for “God Blind Me” both of which are taking the Lord’s name in vain – not even recognised in current usage as swear words let alone as having a religious significance! Even Lordy is taking the Lord’s name in vain… Bloody – a very common swear word is short for the blood of Christ and is compounded in one of my mother’s favourite expressions of frustration “Hells Bells and Buckets of Blood!” which after our trip to Australia in 1968, where they use bloody with gay abandon, became “Hells Bells and Buckets of Bloody Blood!”

The Wikipedia article on Cant Languages became a feature of this year’s A to Z theme ever since writing about Cockney rhyming slang and I hope you have clicked through to a few. There is one language listed for Z but there is no article on it…

Zargari[

So there you have it, another year of A to Z letters completed – but there will be a Reflections post and I will start the Road trip by reviewing this year’s frequent flyers in my comment sections for which I thank you all and I hope you enjoyed it!

Y.-. Yard of Tripe –Rhyming Slang – Yard of Clay – You may think so but I couldn’t possibly say – phrases from plays – ads – Does what it says on the tin…

Today we get 2fer (two for one) or even a bogof (buy one get one free) because a Yard of Tripe – Cockney rhyming slang for Pipe, is accompanied by the similar Yard of Clay – which is a reference to the very long clay pipes smoked in past centuries – presumably the long pipe stem allowed the smoke to cool down before entering the mouth… The Yard of Tripe is more fun because it not only references the length of the pipe, but tripe is in itself a pipe – part of the stomach offal – clever Cockneys!

An 18th Century man smoking a “Churchwarden ” pipe.https://www.tobaccopipes.com/clay-pipes-history/

I may be wrong, and American advertising has moved on from the “This is the product – buy me for $x at such and such shop!” but on this side of the pond we have long since had a different, dare I say more sophisticated approach to advertising. If anything, a little American clarity would sometimes not go amiss! British ads can sometimes leave you guessing until the very end, what the heck they are selling and sometimes you are still not the wiser! However, certain catch-phrases coming from ads, have made it into popular usage eg. (Ronseal Garden Paint) “Does what it says on the tin!”(L’Oreal cosmetics) “Because you are worth it…” (Nike) “Just do it!” (Burger King) “Have it your way…” and wherever there’s a Burger King – McDonald’s must surely follow “I’m Lovin’ It” (Apple) “Think Different” The great thing about all these slogans is that they are catchy and adaptable to all sorts of situations in life and thus the catch-phrases give greater longevity to the ad and the brand.

The same thing happens with some plays or poems (from House of Cards – Francis Urquhart’s catchphrase) “You may think that but I couldn’t possibly comment!

And then there are all those Shakespeare phrases I discussed in the “H” post…

There are no Cant Languages beginning with Y today – from the Wikipedia article

Xmas Tree, Extras, EXpelliarmus – Made up languages…

The A to X Challenge is a form of Abercadarium and it is a testament to the imagination of the many bloggers who participate, that they manage to find twenty-six words each year, with which to furnish their blogs. Yet every year, depending on the theme, each blogger will struggle to fulfil certain letters but if there is one letter of the alphabet which almost always challenges – it is X… So I shall not be surprised to see a bit of cheating nor feel guilty to use the silent E in EX to resolve this dilemma for myself – after all, I am not just searching for a word, but for a whole phrase – and one that we know the meaning of but have forgotten the origin of!

But first, with no cheating, The Xmas Tree, whilst not quite a phrase, is something whose origins have certainly been forgotten – perhaps for good reason… Christmas, Xmas, and Yule-tide is the second most important festival in the Christian calendar – the birth of Christ coming second after the Easter festival which “celebrates” his death. The death of Christ and the symbolic meaning of it, is arguably the reason why the spread of Christianity has been so successful – God first gave, then sacrificed His only son for the sake of sinful mankind – it’s a powerful story but equally important in the acceptance of Christianity, has been its strategy of incorporating local, existing festivals wherever it has gone, and one of the first examples of this is Rome and the Romans who adopted Christianity under Emperor Constantine in an “if you can’t beat them join them” way. One of the Roman festivals which came near enough he date (somewhat arbitrarily fixed) on which Christians celebrated the birth of Christ, was the carrying of a Pine log through the streets to the Temple of Magna Mater ( Big Momma?) in memory of the goddess’ consort Attis. In the same way that Christianity subsumed other religious traditions, the worship of Magna Mater came to Rome from Greece and in turn, probably, from Phrygia.

Relief of an Archigallus making sacrifices to Cybele and Attis, Museo Archeologico OstienseOstia Antica

The Goddess Cybele, is said to have found the infant Attis, in a basket in a reed bed (similar to the discovery of Moses) and raised him like a mother, to be her consort and priest for which he made a vow of chastity, to look at no other female than Cybele. He broke this vow with a nymph making Cybele so angry that she cast Attis out and mortified, he committed suicide by castration, bleeding out under a pine tree and being transformed into one himself. Cybele now relented her anger and brought Attis back to life and, having learned his lesson, Attis remained in faithful service to her (and who wouldn’t!).

A cult of Galli, meaning half-men, grew up around Attis in which priests ritually, and ecstatically castrated themselves and there is some suggestion that this was a trans-gender cult. This did not go down well with the Romans for whom castration, rather sensibly, was illegal. The logs carried through the streets by the Romans were adorned with an image of Attis dressed in women’s clothes – could this be the origin of the “fairy” atop the later Christmas tree? The Arbor Festival of which the Pine Log carrying was part, took place in March and is part of the coming of spring since Cybele was seen as the goddess of fertility and rebirth (and Attis’s resurrection) but may have been subsumed by Christianity as part of the turn of the year timing of Christmas.

Almost from the beginning of Christianity, the celebration of Christmas was criticised for its materialism and the more austere the variant of Christianity, the more it was criticised although it is said that Martin Luther, the reforming founder of Protestantism, was the first to bring a Christmas tree indoors and adorn it with candles after walking at night under a starry studded sky – certainly the tradition of the Xmas tree grew until its Victorian apogee with candles, baubles, tinsel and presents stashed beneath it…

Extras – here are a couple of phrases that I thought of too late for the date of posting their letter! Booting up (your computer) goes back to the 19th-century book “The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen” by Rudolf Erich Raspe based loosely on a real explorer renowned for his telling of tall tales (hence Munchausen Syndrome). In one story he claimed to have climbed to the moon by pulling first on one boot bootstrap, raising his foot, and then on the other. Computers use a tiny operating system called the BIOS to start the underlying machine code operating system DOS, which finally starts your main operating system, say Windows or Linux – hence bootstrapping – now abbreviated to booting up!

Theatrical release poster by Lucinda Cowell for Terry Gilliams film…

Giving free rein to something – obvious when you think about it but most people are so far removed from the age of horses as a means of transport, that we may have forgotten that the reins are the steering wheel of a horse and so when you give a horse free reign, you are allowing it to find and pick it’s own way – perhaps because the ground is difficult and the horse knows best where to place its feet…

EXpelliarmus is the “Disarming Spell” from Harry Potter and whilst it is necessary to invent some Latin-sounding names for spells in such a book, some authors go as far as to invent whole languages for their books – I am thinking of J R Tolkien in particular where such languages reside in Appendices to his books. Of course, Tolkien was a Professor of Middle English at Oxford so he certainly had the skill to make such inventions but did they add anything to the books? Well, there are phrases spoken by say the Elves followed, mercifully, by the translation, but was it necessary to invent the whole language? I think not and I always skipped over those appendices. And what about those authors who put foreign language phrases and don’t follow them with the translation – how elitist is that!!! Of course, there are a few nerds who have fleshed out and talk Klingon (StarTrek) to each other at nerd fests and who knows – maybe there are would-be Elves whispering sibilantly to each other in Tolkien’s elvish tongue. But I think of the dwarves, elves, hobbits and orcs as archetypes of human nature rather than literal races who require a language inventing for them. Lots of science fiction and other fiction manage to put contemporary language into the mouths of their characters to perfectly good effect for the reason that the books are addressing a modern audience. Anyway, that’s my little rant over…

The Cant languages we have been showcasing from the Wikipedia article on that subject, are, on the other hand, perfectly justified because they are to defend one group from the eavesdropping of another and today we have just one:

Xíriga, from Asturias, Spain

W – Wednesday, Friday etc.- Linguistic hangovers – Walk the Chalk, Winging it –Whistlestop Tour…

Wednesday, Friday etc. are linguistic reminders of Britains many waves of invaders leading to the mongrel people and mongrel language of which we are so proud (whilst still using the dog-whistle of Immigration to try and rouse the  right to support the current government).

Wednesday come from Wotan’s Day (Head Honcho of the Norse Gods who was brought to us by the Vikings), Thursday – Thor’s Day and Friday (now reduced or is it elevated to a celluloid Superhero), Friday is for the Goddess Freia. Saturday is for the Roman god Saturn ( they too invaded Britain!). Sunday is for the Sun and Monday for the Moon which are fairly obvious, but Tuesday is supposed to be referencing the Roman God and planet Mars and the derivation of Tuesday from Mars is less obvious…

To “Walk the Chalk” means to behave according to the rules and comes from the sobriety test whereby a policeman requires someone suspected of being drunk, to walk a straight line.

Officer Rueben Morales, Universal City Police Department helps Mark Tharp walk a straight line while wearing fatal vision goggles June 4, 2014 during the Critical Days of Summer event at Joint Base San Antonio-Randolph. These goggles give the individual a view of how things are seen after alcohol consumption. (U.S. Air Force photo by Joel Martinez)

Winging it – this is the expression I always used used to use for “making it up as you go along” UNTIL my first A to Z  Challenge in 2023 when I picked up an alternative – Pantsing It! I have used it ever since! This year I have managed to stay ahead of the game – so far… But the origin of the expression “Winging it”, comes from the Wing-walkers – those derring-do entertainers who performed stunts on the top wing of biplanes in the 1920s and 30s – imagine the Risk Assessments if you tried to do that today…

www.rarehistoricalphotos.com

A Whistlestop Tour is an American expression where many small towns were connected by rail before even road – may even have come into being because of the building of the railways. They were however, too small to have a scheduled halt and only stopped if they were requested to by a signal and they blew their whistle to announce their impending arrival and let potential passengers to get to the station – hence Whistlestop. Campaigning Politicians in America, often travelled around by train and at tiny whistlestop towns, would not even alight from the train but instead, make their speech from the balcony which train carriages had in those days – a Whistlestop Tour

By Unknown author or not provided – U.S. National Archives and Records Administration, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=16532272

There is no Cant language beginning with W from the Wikipedia article

V – V-sign/ Victory V

Always a difficult letter “V” plus at this stage in the A to Z I am only 2 posts away from “pantsing it” so forgive me if this post is a little briefer than normal…

Winston Churchill giving his Victory V sign
English singer-songwriter and entertainer Robbie Williams does the reversed V sign at a paparazzo photographer in London in 2000

Winston Churchill’s iconic V-sign – meaning V for Victory, is a sanitised version of the V-sign going back to the Battle of Agincourt and the days of the great English Long Bow-men. So effective were these bowmen both in terms of accuracy and power – being able to rain down armour-piercing arrows on the enemy – so the French threatened that if they caught the English bowmen, they would cut off their first two fingers – the ones used to draw their bow and so, as two lines of soldiers faced each other across no-mans-land, the English bowmen would wave their first and second fingers in a V-sign to show that they were still armed (or fingered) and dangerous. The true V-sign is delivered by raising your forearm smartly to the vertical, fingers spread, brandishing a V whereas Winston Churchill held up his Victory V palm forward in a respectable but recognizable reference to the classic gesture.

The Cant Language beginning with V from the Wikipedia article is:

U – Under the Weather, – Upper case / Lower case, – Umble pie…

Under the weather – yet another sailor’s term! You have to remember that in the days of wooden sailing ships, the crew were mostly barefoot (which is why the deck had to be sanded free of splinters every day) and except in voyages to regions of extreme cold, or during storms when they had some kind of waterproof outfit,  they were not very well dressed either. On the plus side, once they had left the land, they were free of infectious diseases like colds and flu – what they picked up whilst in port is another matter. However, sailors did get sick and they usually got sent to recuperate below deck – literally, under the weather…

Upper case / Lower case  – I began a career in graphics (among other things) at school where I joined the printing society – who printed the programmes for plays and concerts as well as posters using the large woodblock type that is now mostly seen in antique shops. It has been a strand in my career ever since and I have just made my first foray into AI – an evaluative exploration which I will be continuing once the madness of April A to Z is over. We printed with lead type which was kept in those compartmented drawers which are also beloved of antique shops and turned into glass-fronted showcases for knick-knacks. The capital letters were kept in one drawer marked Upper Case whilst the Lower Case letters were in the drawer beneath – simples!

Lest you think I have made a spelling mistake and missed off the “H” or am affecting a Cockney accent and dropping the “H”, Umble pie, is a pie made from Umbles which include very cheap cuts of meat and in particular – offal – heart, liver, kidneys, tripe, sweetmeats, lungs and thoroughly washed intestines. Such a pie is the food is, of course, the food of the poor who may well also be humble. The word humble comes from the Latin humilis meaning lowly, close to the earth. The two words – humble, and umble – are conflated in the expression “He was made to eat (h)umble pie.” He was humbled and forced to admit the error of his ways. I blame the confusion between humble and umble fairly and squarely on that obsequious creation of Charles Dickens in David Copperfield – “Uriah Heep” – an inveterate dropper of “h’s” whose catchphrase was “I’m ever so umble…”

Here is a recipe for Umble Pie…

There are no Cant languages beginning with U from the Wikipedia article today.