6 Degrees of Separation  -Friendaholic by Elizabeth Day…

This is a post in the 6 Degrees of Separation run by Kate W. over at books are my favourite and best in which she gives the starting point of a particular book and invites you to take a journey through 6 other books of your choice, all connecting in some way and perhaps ending up back at the beginning…

As will often be the case in this challenge, I have not read this book, a non-fiction exploration of just what it is that makes friendship so important to Elizabeth Day. Ubiquitous as Amazon is, other booksellers are available  so here is part of what the Waterstones’ blurb says about Friendaholic. “Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict tells the story of one woman’s journey to understand why she’s addicted to friendship. […] In Friendaholic, Elizabeth unpacks the significance and evolution of friendship. From exploring her own personal friendships and the distinct importance of each of them in her life, to the unique and powerful insights of others across the globe, Elizabeth asks why there isn’t a language that can express its crucial influence on our world.
From ghosting to frenemies, to social media and communication styles, to the impact of seismic life events, Elizabeth leaves no stone untouched. Friendaholic is the book you buy for the people you love but it’s also the book you read to become a better friend to yourself.”

So everything you wanted to know about friendship but never dared to ask – well hardly because there are as many types of friendship as there are fish in the sea and as a prodigious reader of books growing up in a rather claustrophobic childhood, I suspect that the friendships depicted in books have been a great influence on me so all these books have personal significance for me beyond the mere reading…

Will and Tom by Mathew Plamplin – my first choice-  was a recent read but what drew me to it, was that it concerns two painters well known to me and is set in one of England’s great country house not far from where I now reside – Harewood House. My last year at school was an extra year to resit Geography which I had ambitiously paired with Physics and English A-levels in an attempt to straddle education from Art to Science and Geography, which I wanted to study at university got squeezed in the middle. So now I added Geology and Atr A-levels, and, since my friends had all left and I only had 11 hours timetabled lessons, I was allowed to roam the streets of Oxford, sketching and visiting art galleries and museums. At the Ashmolean Museum, I was allowed to handle and peruse, FIVE boxes of Turner watercolours and for good measure, the staff suggested I compare his work with that of his contemporary and friend – Thomas Girtin. Girtin is as unknown to most people as Turner is famous, and that is in part because he died tragically young, but this book brings their life and friendship not to mention the times and the place. Below is one of Thomas’ paintings.

If I hadn’t used it in last months 6 Degrees, I could now have gone to This Thing of Darkness telling the tale of the Friendship between Charles Darwin and Fitzroy the Captain of the Beagle but instead I choose another voyage of biological discovery and friendship – The Log from the Sea of Cortes by John Steinbeck. I am going to cheat here and give you a Two-fer since this book is inextricably linked to Cannery Row also by Steinbeck in which we meet Doc – in real life – Ed Ricketts a marine biologist who became a great friend and influence on Steinbeck. Steinbeck was fascinated by marine biology and having achieved initial success with The Grapes of Wrath, as Ricketts had done with his seminal Between Pacific Tides, the pair were looking for new inspiration and eventually settled on a specimen collecting trip up the Gulf of California, or Sea of Cortez as it is more poetically titled. The co-authored book as well as the fictionalised Doc in Cannery Row, paint a portrait of close friendship between two men and Steinbeck was devastated when Ricketts was killed on the railway crossing at Monterey…
A recurring comedic theme throughout the log, is the fractious relationship with the outboard motor of their tender “Our Hansen Sea-Cow was not only a living thing but a mean, irritable, contemptible, vengeful, mischievous, hateful living thing…. [it] loved to ride on the back of a boat, trailing its propeller daintily in the water while we rowed… when attacked with a screwdriver [it] fell apart in simulated death… It loved no one, trusted no one, it had no friends.”

On a journey of my own in the 70’s, by Transalpino, I would have passed through Naples, the seaside location of my third linked book the first in Elena Ferrante’s autobiographical trilogy detailing her growing up in a Naples suburb “My Brilliant Friend”. The picture of Lila and Elena and Naples includes memorable characters from their own families to the more sinister family of the Cosa Nostra and we see the roots of later series such as Gommorah. I first watched My Brilliant Friend as a TV drama but I have since acquired the books to read ( since the read experience is so different) and they  are on my Tsundoku (TBR) list…

With no more link than that they are also set in Italy and I vastly enjoyed them as a teenager, I now choose the The Little World of Don Camillo by Giovannino Guareschi. A collection of eight books of short stories, only three of which were published in his lifetime,, Guareschi tells of the amusing but touching conflict between A parish priest in a small town in northern Italy’s Po Valley, and the Communist Mayor. You might be forgiven for thinking that the constant strife between these two protagonists (with many conversations with God on the side) describe enemies rather than friends, but what they share and recognise in each other, even if they wouldn’t openly admit it, is that they both strive ceaselessly in their own ways, for the good of the town and if that doesn’t qualify as friendship…

I read in some pre-internet article, that a survey had discovered that men, asked about their favourite books, will often quote titles they read as teenagers whilst women will cite their most recent reads. The question was posed, tongue in cheek, as to whether this is because men stop reading after puberty whilst women don’t stop… I will acknowledge that half the books mentioned so far were read in my teenage years and with David Copperfield – read in a wrist wearying hardback (particularly when reading on the pillow) by Charles Dickens. I read a few Dickens books from my parents hardback set and formed an early critical notion of his work as being like a tapestry, all the threads are presented near the beginning, a few are lost along the way and a few new ones introduced, but most make it to the last chapter in which things a re resolved with satisfaction for the good and justice for the bad.
David Copperfield is a partly autobiographical account of Dickens life and it is notable for the friends that save young Copperfield from the worst vicissitudes to which he is subject, Peggotty, Steerforth (initially at school) and Barkis, not to mention the unusual friendship between Aunty Betsy Trotwood and Mr Dick.
The thing about these books read as a teenager, is that they have formative influence on the developing mind and I sometimes wonder whether how much of these characters, especially Steinbeck’s Doc, are not in me…

The Surgeon of Crowthorne by Simon Winchester, is the story not only of the monumental task of creating The Oxford English Dictionary, but of the friendship that developed between the chief editor of the dictionary and it’s most prolific, volunteer contributor. Started seven years after Dickens published David Copperfield, the OED took a new approach to dictionary entries by seeking for examples of usage to accompany definitions of meaning and this required an army of volunteers. James Murray, the Chief Editor appointed by The Philological Society, received tens of thousands of examples from one – William Chester Minor – so many that when the first volume was finally published after eight years gruelling work, Murray invited his volunteers to a party. Surprised not to hear from or see his most prolific volunteer, Murray eventually went to Crowthorne Hospital where he assumed Minor worked, only to discover that he was an inmate in what is now the secure psychiatric hospital Broadmoor. Minor, who had had a colourful life, was suffering from what we would now diagnose as Schizophrenia and had stabbed a man. Murray and Minor became firm friends and eventually, Murray petitioned for Minor’s release since his troubled mind had eventually relaxed.

This true tale of friendship brings us back to Elizabeth Day’s exploration of the nature of friendship and why it is so vital! I hope you have enjoyed the journey through books which feel like old friends to me and which have almost certainly styled my notion of friendship…