A life together
does not begin with a clean slate
There is baggage.
The amount of baggage
is not measured by
how many pieces of furniture
or the number of bags and boxes
you each bring
on moving in
together day.
The amount of baggage
is not a direct correlation
to how old either of you are
a short life can contain
as much trauma
as a longer one
not that trauma is
the only kind of baggage
Past loves and joys
form a special category of baggage
and never forget that guiding light
“Comparisons are Odious”
If you have not gone through
the dating phase
of looking deep
into each other’s eyes
swapping life stories
comparing notes
whilst spilling the beans
rest assured it will happen
and unpacking baggage
the literal kind
will turn up who knows what…
A negotiation will take place
as to what goes where
what is precious
too precious to risk being out in
in the breakage zone
what is distasteful
to the other
and which they would
rather you hid away
if indeed
in extremis
it must not actually
be thrown away.
Getting rid of the literal baggage
does not even begin to alter
The inner baggage
which may or may not
be lying around
like still unpacked
boxes and bags
more or less waiting
to be tripped over
not even labelled
with their contents
sometimes it will be years
before this baggage
gives up its secrets
Framed photos will be hung
and you may recognise
your new partner
at a younger age
and with a cast
of other players
yet to be introduced
but don’t mistake recognition
for comprehension
– that will be a long time coming
however much you think
you already know
If you are just a couple
you are lucky to bring
only your own set of baggage
just imagine when
children are to be blended
into a household
hopefully a family
More baggage
external and internal
a metaphorical minefield
of boxes and their contents
to trip over
many of them marked fragile
for all the good that does
And so
at the end of the first day
with the most important
most obvious and bulky baggage
provisionally assigned
a place in the scheme of things
to bed
It will take weeks more
to finally unpack
that literal baggage
but then the real work
and the fun begins
to know the other
inside out
if possible
and to learn
what it means to share a life…
© Andrew Wilson, 2023
Written to a line from “Savior Machine” from Life on Mars by Tracy K. Smith
Very insightful.
Thank you – it is a distillation of experience… And thanks for visiting!
Yup, liking the message in this… Deal with the baggage and then get involved fully in the moments – the glorious sharing of life…
I’m not sure the baggage ever gets put away completely but at least it becomes manageable with time…
Thanks for visiting!
A very thoughtful poem of reflection on baggage. I believe much of the baggage in a relationship comes from expectations! We all bring our unique perceptions and presumptions that sometimes conflict with our partner.
You’re right about expectations and there is so much to know about someone before they become apparent…
Thanks for visiting!
Everyone has baggage… it makes life interesting. Love your poem!
Indeed – it is the stuff of a life lived…
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This poem drew a deep sigh from me .. such an evocative perspective on life and relationships. You describe wonderfully, what it takes to actually share one’s life with another ❤️❤️
Thank you so much Sanaa, I had to deal with some baggage recently and this poem came out of it – it’s an ill wind – right?
Thanks for visiting!
Absolutely brilliant.
Funny thing about those old photos, old friends, old loves. Their importance takes on new weight as you age. Once you considered them as in your or your partner’s past, but now they’re part of the whole picture.
Thanks Misky – very true – that verse was an after thought when I was typing up what I had written in my writing group – thinking about it, it is as mysterious how these thoughts come into being as it is how an AI manages to create complex pictures so quickly – I guess you just need the right prompt…
Yep. True stuff. I like the way you told it, too.
Sorry for the late reply and thanks so much Jennifer…
Thanks Jennifer I was pleased with it too. Thanks for visiting…
I sighed, too.
I wrote this in my online writing group – the others in the group are all American women on the Eastern Seaboard and their reaction was that this would resonate for a lot of people…
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To learn what it means to share a life… Oh I love it!! Bravo pour ce très beau poème, et si plein de vérités.
Hi from the South of France, where it’s getting hot and where the cicadas are singing 😉
Thanks Frederique – you have just transported me back to student fieldwork trip to Aix en Provence and Montpellier with the sound of cicadas and then the taste of pernod and cold water at the café – encroyable…
such insightful poem, deep and so true 🙂
Thanks so much Lady Lee…
After the fairy tale fantasy usually that is when the baggage is sighted. Those who take cognizance of the baggage early are the ones who can manage best
Thanks for dropping by my blog
Much💚love
Too true Gilllena though sometimes I wonder if it ever stops…
This is lovely. 🙂
Thank you Kate…
Thank you Kate – and fro dropping by…
Very touching!
Thanks Sundari…