A life together
does not begin with a clean slate
There is baggage.
The amount of baggage
is not measured by
how many pieces of furniture
or the number of bags and boxes
you each bring
on moving in
together day.
The amount of baggage
is not a direct correlation
to how old either of you are
a short life can contain
as much trauma
as a longer one
not that trauma is
the only kind of baggage
Past loves and joys
form a special category of baggage
and never forget that guiding light
“Comparisons are Odious”
If you have not gone through
the dating phase
of looking deep
into each other’s eyes
swapping life stories
comparing notes
whilst spilling the beans
rest assured it will happen
and unpacking baggage
the literal kind
will turn up who knows what…
A negotiation will take place
as to what goes where
what is precious
too precious to risk being out in
in the breakage zone
what is distasteful
to the other
and which they would
rather you hid away
if indeed
in extremis
it must not actually
be thrown away.
Getting rid of the literal baggage
does not even begin to alter
The inner baggage
which may or may not
be lying around
like still unpacked
boxes and bags
more or less waiting
to be tripped over
not even labelled
with their contents
sometimes it will be years
before this baggage
gives up its secrets
Framed photos will be hung
and you may recognise
your new partner
at a younger age
and with a cast
of other players
yet to be introduced
but don’t mistake recognition
for comprehension
– that will be a long time coming
however much you think
you already know
If you are just a couple
you are lucky to bring
only your own set of baggage
just imagine when
children are to be blended
into a household
hopefully a family
More baggage
external and internal
a metaphorical minefield
of boxes and their contents
to trip over
many of them marked fragile
for all the good that does
And so
at the end of the first day
with the most important
most obvious and bulky baggage
provisionally assigned
a place in the scheme of things
to bed
It will take weeks more
to finally unpack
that literal baggage
but then the real work
and the fun begins
to know the other
inside out
if possible
and to learn
what it means to share a life…
© Andrew Wilson, 2023
Written to a line from “Savior Machine” from Life on Mars by Tracy K. Smith