We sit under the tin roofed veranda
as far back from the splattering waterfall
falling from the rusty edge
into the sodden road before us
Every few minute the dog
keeping us company “ahems”
or “harrumphs” to express his
boredom and disapproval of
the ceaseless deluge.
The drip-drip intensifies
to a rat-tat-tat
heralded with a crack
of lightning overhead
The dog whines and
covers his eyes with a paw
yet peeping out spots
a desperate rat swimming past
a deep throated growl precedes
his leaping forth with a splash
the dog obscures his target
frantic ripples quickly
flattened by the rain
Returning to our side
shivering and shuddering
the dog slinks away at a shout
from the house owner – our host
No good stray he mutters
Tina Turner’s singing
I Can’t Stand the Rain
is now an earworm
the novelty of monsoon washed away…
© Andrew Wilson, 2024
Over at the Poets Pub our host Björn Rudberg (brudberg) in Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft challenges us to write using as much Onomatopoeia as possible to enhance the sound of our poem…
as heard through the ears of the dog this is even more rambunctious – an ingenious take on the prompt – love the earworm too
I am trying to get back to writing a novel but I couldn’t resist this prompt, Laura…
Thoroughly enjoyed your poem, I could hear, see and feel the poor dog’s frustration. Beautifully written,
Thanks Di – like many stories, I didn’t know where it would take me…
Beautifully written, Andrew! A perfect choice for the prompt. The rain dripping off the rusty edges of the tin roof is so vivid. Rain has such great sound words!
I have yet to go through all the other poems but i bet there are a few rainy ones, Dwight…
I can only feel the poor dog being haunted by the wild sound of that torrential rain were even the rats float by…
Exactly Björn – i/m sure the relief at the initial onset of the monsoon soon gives way to feelings like these…
I love how you set the scene in this poem, Andrew, and the disapproving noises the dog makes enhance the atmosphere! I also like the development of the weather in the lines:
;The drip-drip intensifies
to a rat-tat-tat
heralded with a crack
of lightning overhead’.
I can’t stand the rain either, at the moment, please bring me sunshine!
Agreed Kim – we have semi-sun today so off to Filey to dip our toes in the briny – thanks for the comment – it was a fun prompt…
“The drip-drip intensifies
to a rat-tat-tat
heralded with a crack
of lightning overhead,”
This is such an apt description of torrential rain, Andrew! I am reminded of the days spent in Kuala Lumpur 😀
Thanks, Sanaa, and do you get the monsoon where you live?
I enjoyed the sounds in your poem. 🙂
Thanks, kitty, I hadn’t thought about onomatopoeia until this prompt, it was always rhyme and alliteration so it was a good exercise…
Hi Andrew, I really like this poem. I can just imagine this scene with the dog. Fantastic 😊💕
Who knows where it came from, Robbie, I have never been to the Far East nor experienced Monsoon, but I simply followed the rain and a complete scene emerged… They say you should only write about what you know but I say trust your imagination!
I can sense the despair and frustration of the dog. The ceaseless deluge of rain will depress me too.
Thanks Grace. We have had some nice days but heading into cold and wet…
Very atmospheric, clever, intricate, with a twist..enjoyed that.
Thank you A. – who doesn’t like a good twist…
Poor pooch! I guess animals can get depressed too.
It’s a dog’s life Sarah…
Love imagining the dog “ahem”-ing.😆
I like the way the dog hangs out with tourists…