Over at dVerse Poets PubLaura Bloomsbury in Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft is our host and has asked us to write Ghazal using at least one of the lines by Pablo Neruda from his book of poetry – “The Book of Questions” in which he poses 320 questions and answers in couplet form, and she has asked us to use at least one of the six question lines she has selected. I found all six questions stimulating and linked them in this poem.
Why was I not born mysterious? – Sorrowful Then nations would smite down my enemy furious – angry
Why did I grow up without companions – lonely compadres and friends in this world so curious? – and unloved
And do unshed tears wait in little lakes – weeping lurking to ambush we unwary and drown us? – vulnerable
And Why does Spring once again offer its green clothes – landless springing up in the rubble of our homes mocking us? – homeless
How long do others speak if we have already spoken – quashed one hundred years, pleading, crying and dying in the dust? – and denied
Even hope itself may eventually die – we should be hopeless Isn’t it better never than too late for us? – flattened too.
How long do others speak if we have already spoken? – We still As long as it takes for you to hear us – cry out
And Why does Spring once again offer its green clothes? – bear children Because life must triumph, improbable, delirious – all we can
And do unshed tears wait in little lakes? – don’t hold back Yes but cry them, use them, water the dust – start again
Why did I grow up without companions? – seek new friends Because the world heard only another victim’s fuss – in a world of oppressed
Why was I not born mysterious? – we find other victims in common See the wonderful in the ordinary which is us – our voices raised together
There are no especially deserving winners – give us all our due no one deserves our land over us – “Equality now!”
Equal status and our own statehood – “Never Again!” with nobody ruling over us – “Give us Our Due!”
Borrowing these six Neruda questions – “Now!” the poet, Andrew, seeks to give voice to us…
Dublin to Manchester Once on a plane I found a pair of sunglasses a polarising pair with circular lenses of Matrix cool left by the last occupant missed between flights by the cabin clean up crew I have those glasses still more than twenty years later I’m a keeper.
Teneriffe to Gatwick Once on a plane I had the last moments with my first great love then she asked me to hang back at the checkout because her husband was meeting her and thought she was holidaying alone.
Stanstead to Dublin Once on a plane I contemplated flying to meet a woman I had known only for one chaste night of intimations who then sent me a ticket for a weekend in County Leitrim
Manchester to Heraklion Once on a plane fleeing the pandemic one step ahead of lockdown I looked down on the Alps a wilderness of mountains as far as the eye could see from thirty-five thousand feet and saw not a trace of human life, no villages no roads, no smoke as if already we never existed
A Flight to Anywhere More than once on a plane I wonder about the lives of Air Hostesses or Hosts or Stewards as they are now called whether they joined to see the world and whether they did whether it’s true about the crew parties the god-like officers marriage material or just better advantaged the ordinariness of Ryanair crew the haughty select of Air Aegean each one as from the pages of a 50’s fashion magazine do the ordinary despise the haughty meeting en passant in some airport corridor or do they share a common bond of brother and sisterhood is it just another flight from one take off to another landing once on a plane…
How can I say I thank you for the mixed bag of emotions which I will call Love for want of a better word – which I learned at your knee whilst having no inkling of even being schooled…
Love is nurturing – on a physical level of feeding at least and on the mental level of stimulation with books and ideas and even a trip around the world
Love is safety and love is the absence of danger which is not necessarily the same thing
Love is consistency which can go a long way towards making up for other deficiencies
Love is giving a sense of who you are and what your place is in the wider world – it is not sufficient to teach you to talk to anyone from a tramp to the Queen if you don’t know what you want to say.
Imposter syndrome is as transferrable as a gene for diabetes and like that disease it will be a long time before you even figure out you have it – and what “It” is there is no gene sequencer for emotional baggage…
We learn to love like layers of an onion and so much depends on the fertility of the soil which is that original family and however crooked the plant grows – be glad if you at least had a family.
Love starts with a teat your mother’s if you are lucky or perhaps a bottle freely given on demand
Love expands too if you are lucky enough to have siblings – you add another layer to your personal culture when you go to school when you expand your horizons to town, country and however much of the world you are lucky enough to encounter
If you are not lucky and your bulb grows amongst stones, is not fed good food and stimulation for the mind – if you encounter trauma by loss, violence or abuse your multilayered onion will reflect its origins…
Eventually you may break away from the family home, home town and learn of other loves but your affinity has already set by earlier lessons learned This one is never secure That one is self-centred This one is restless and That one puts up with rather than taking care of themselves
Love is as varied as the human beings who practise it and the combinations in couples as varied as the genes they may mesh together in the lottery of life
But lucky or unlucky everybody needs to know what they learned of love and work out what works for them and those they love…
For goodness sake grant me the bucket-list wish of a boat any boat will do a picayune pram to potter on a large pond better still a proper rowboat on a large lake to drift down the wind lanes a dry fly bobbing alluringly on the ripple, gently retrieving with the dream of a trout rising
A daysailer – better still ducking the boom on a dinghy is dodgy at my age so day trips on a Summer suitable sea would fit the bill delightfully sailing out and back with the sea breeze sometimes sleeping in the cabin after stargazing at anchor in some sheltering bay
And in the Winter I would cherish my little vessel drawn up on the shore cleaning and caulking and laying on varnish let me leave alliteration behind and voyage forth on real wavy waters – so for goodness sake one day grant me a boat
Half my sister’s ashes sit on my bookshelf the thought flashes regularly that I must fulfil her wishes and bury her with our parents let her out of the camel-shaped teapot my favourite of her collection and which bore her back from Ireland disguising the grey substance which is, unbelievably, half of her remains.
I think it is the distance to Dorset which has held me back from letting the once genial out of the teapot. The teapot will remain ornamentally on my bookshelf to use my sister’s sometime sepulchre to make tea might be a step too far for a brother though it would have made his sister laugh like a drain…
Frequently the wood sare pink wrote Emily Dickinson, fairly described as transcendental romantic, I think was she referencing blossom-time when gaudy pinks and whites to win the bees attention fight that time when we remember trees are but giant flowering plants dependent on the tiny pollinator to close life’s circle with their aerial dance flowers followed in short order by the clichéd thousand shades of green my own favourite time to see the thin veil delicately drawn across the Winter-wakened trees and as the leaves thicken and take on Summer shades each tree can be read from a distance picked out from its companions in the glade
But wait – in Winter too a palette of subtle colours also distinguish each species one from another colours hard to pin down from mauves and greys to blues and nearly brown and never black except in solitary silhouette and frequently the woods are pink